


The Collared Cat

by Kaiyou



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Anxiety, Fantasy AU, Love Trumps Hate prize, M/M, Shapeshifting, Urban Fantasy, memory loss issues
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-14
Updated: 2017-03-27
Packaged: 2018-10-04 22:02:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 35,488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10291127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kaiyou/pseuds/Kaiyou
Summary: Kozume Kenma considers himself to be a relatively boring office worker. His best friend - only friend, really - is an ornithologist who's coming to Tokyo to visit for his birthday. When Kenma goes shopping for a good birthday gift, however, his ordinary life takes a turn for the extraordinary.





	1. The Black Cat

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SoVeryAverageMe](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SoVeryAverageMe/gifts).



> This is the Love Trumps Hate story for [soveryaverageme](http://soveryaverageme.tumblr.com/), who donated a total of $20 ($10 to the Trevor Project and $10 to the ACLU.). I don't talk politics much, but sometimes I think that the government isn't going to provide us with what we need to live safe and productive lives, so we need to band together and support each other. Thats why I donated a story.
> 
> This will be released in pieces ^_^ hope you enjoy!

The bell rang above the door as Kenma walked into the bookstore. It was larger than he’d expected looking at it from the outside. There was a large central room filled with shelves carved from some sort of dark wood, all of them full of books and knick knacks and things he couldn’t as of yet identify. There was a second floor as well, though most of the main room was open to show the muraled ceiling and skylights. A balcony of the same dark wood as the bookshelves ran around the edges of the room and extended deeply at the back.

It was safe to say that Kenma had not expected a bookstore of this size in metropolitan Tokyo, even in one of the quieter neighborhoods. It wasn’t a chain store, wasn’t widely advertised as far as he was aware, but it still seemed busy.

It almost made him turn and walk out the door.

He wasn’t terribly comfortable with crowds even on his best days. Add to that the fact that he was going somewhere new, trying something new, and it meant his heart was beating overtime. It also felt like everyone in the store had turned to stare at him the moment he walked in. Paranoia, that was all that was, right? His therapist said he couldn’t give into those thoughts if he was going to get over his social anxiety. He could deal with this. Get in, find the present he was looking for, get out. It would be fine.

Two men were working the counter when he approached. Both were watching him closely. It was only good customer service, he was sure. There was a large coffee table book full of trains laid out between them.

“Ah, hello,” said one of them, a man with short black hair and dark eyes. He was studying Kenma’s face, but not in a way that seemed judgemental or overly interested. Just - curious.

The blond next to him was leaning on the counter and looked a bit more intense. “Interesting dye job,” he said.

Kenma scowled, ducking his head to cover his face with half-blond roots. He really should get his hair cut. Maybe that was what had caught people’s attention. Objectively it really wasn’t any of this man’s business how he chose to wear his hair.

In. Out. Get the book. Go home. Never come here again. It would be fine.

“I saw on your website that you have some older books of illustration? Of birds. Owls, especially.”

“Owls? You’re looking for a book about owls?” asked the blond, exchanging a look with the other man.

“Yes,” said Kenma, curling his hands into fists behind his back to keep them from shaking. “Please.”

“Ah,” said the dark-haired man, “of course. Right this way, sir.”

Kenma followed the man into the shelves, glancing back once to see the blond watching him with a puzzled look on his face. What in the world his problem was, Kenma didn’t know.

“Are you interested in birds?” asked the dark-haired man. Kai, his nametag said.

“A friend of mine is,” Kenma murmured. “It’s his birthday soon.”

“Oh?” Kai asked, giving him a sharp look. “What is...”

“Yes?” Kenma asked, looking from him to the shelf he’d led them to.

Kai tilted his head to the side and frowned, then shook his head. “Ah, nothing. I hope you find what you’re looking for, sir.”

Nodding, Kenma studied the books in front of him, trying to ignore the speed at which Kai left him to go back to his friend at the counter. He saw them talking about him out of the corner of his eye, saw one pull out a phone even.

It probably wasn’t about him. He was letting his anxiety get the better of him again.

After all, there wasn’t anything interesting about him except his two-tone hair.

Kenma was probably one of the most boring people he knew, really. His life consisted of a halfway-interesting job and spending nights alone curled up with video games chatting online. He had a few acquaintances from work and some people he talked to online, but that was about it. He’d never even met his closest friend.

Not that he needed friends. Not that he was lonely or anything.

Frowning, Kenma resolutely pushed those thoughts away and lifted a hand to run a finger along the spines of the old books in front of him. They seemed somewhat haphazard - all dealing with animals, but they ranged from scientific studies to illustrations to collections of folktales. There were a few odd items in front of the books at the side of the shelves, and larger items on the higher shelves. One, in particular, caught his eye - a large black porcelain cat that was arched in an odd way. It almost looked unfinished, or as if it was supposed to be part of a pair.

Weird.

He didn’t really like cats much. Why that particular item had drawn his attention he didn’t know.

He looked back down at the spines in front of him, pulling out an illustrated book of folktales. It was written using antiquated kanji that he didn’t fully recognize, with watercolor illustrations to the side. They were beautiful - cranes, weeping women, paper spirits, other things he had only heard about in memories almost lost to dreams. There were some symbols on the bottom that looked familiar too.

No owls though, not that he saw. Akaashi would probably like it, but Kenma thought he could probably find something better.

Putting the book back, he ran a finger along the spines, noticing one that seemed promising. He was starting to pull it out when he heard a loud gasp behind him.

“Ken- mmph -” said a voice, making Kenma whip around in surprise and knock into the bookshelf.

He saw a short redheaded man being pulled back by a man with blue eyes and black hair, surprise and - was that alarm? On their faces?

It was terrifying. What was it -

Something heavy fell on his head, and he called out in pain, eyes widening as he saw the black cat fall. Terrified it would break, he dove, barely catching it before it hit the ground.

“Fuck,” Kenma whispered, rolling over and cradling the cat in his arms. His head hurt. His fingers hurt where they’d been squished between the cat and the floor. He was surrounded by strangers that were very obviously staring at him now.

This was awful.

Everything was silent for a moment, then he heard the sound of footsteps clattering down the stairs leading to the second floor. Looking over, he saw two more people - a short man with light brown hair and a tall man with messy black hair who was looking at him like -

Like -

Kenma had no words to describe that gaze. Angry? Shocked? Hungry? He recoiled back from it, even more terrified when the dark-haired man started forward towards him before being held back by his companion.

What was it with these people?

Kenma looked away, seeing Kai kneeling by him with a look of concern on his face. “Are you alright?” he asked.

“I - yes - I think so.”

The blond from the counter was over by the men who’d come down from the stairs, arguing in a hushed voice with the dark-haired man.

“Why is he so upset?” Kenma asked, curling in on himself, holding the porcelain cat tight to his chest.

“Kuroo? Ah, it’s - complicated,” Kai said, glancing toward the front of the shop and then back at Kenma. “What happened?”

“I - I thought I heard someone call my name,” Kenma said, feeling foolish. The redhead was still there at the other end of the aisle, arguing with the man next to them. There was no way that he’d known Kenma’s name, though. He was probably just talking about something else, he looked to be rather loud.

“I’m sorry,” Kai said.

It was a very odd thing to say, and Kenma’s reaction must’ve been clear on his face.

“Uh,” Kai continued, “I mean, you must’ve been startled and that was what caused you to run into the bookcase? Or -”

“Oh,” said Kenma. “Oh, yes. And then -”

He looked down at the cat in his arms. It fit perfectly, its odd arches making it rest snugly in his grasp. How odd.

He should probably put it back, or get up, or something. Kai was reaching a hand down to help and Kenma let himself be pulled up. He didn’t want to let go of the cat, though. So strange. This whole thing was strange.

The blond was walking over to them now. Konoha, his nametag read. “Sorry about that. The cat that fell - it’s something one of our customers has on commission.”

“It is?” Kai asked, brow furrowing.

“Yes, it is,” said Konoha, frowning at him. “And he said - well, you know, our store policy is you break it you buy it -”

“What?” Kenma asked, staring at the blond.

“Yes.”

“But - it’s fine, I caught it -” Kenma said, feeling his chest constrict.

Kai was looking at him, frown still on his face. “Are you sure you’re alright, sir? You look pale. We have a seating area up front, it looked like the cat hit you on the head, maybe you should come rest -”

“I’m fine!” Kenma said, feeling like everything was spiraling out of control. He needed to get out of here. Buy the damn cat if he had to, pick a book - the one he’d been reaching for was on the floor - “Here, just - check me out or something.”

The man with messy hair was still arguing behind him, voice rising in a language Kenma couldn’t make out. Kuro. Black, so appropriate, and the others were still staring -

Kai rested a hand on his shoulder. Normally Kenma hated people touching him, but for some reason, the touch was almost soothing.

Focus. He had to focus. Having a panic attack in public was not a good idea.

As it was, he’d probably end up falling straight into bed when he got home. This whole thing was exhausting.

He barely even realized that he’d followed Kai back up to the counter. The ring of the cash register, the cat wrapped in tissue paper and put in a bag with the book, apologies from Kai and more gentle inquiries if he wanted to sit and wait, a card requesting his name and contact information - it all went by in a blur. It was almost a relief to be outside again and free of the space, on autopilot as he worked his way home.

It was only after he was home and in bed that he asked himself why he’d filled out a card if he didn’t plan on ever going back there again.

And then, of course, there was the question of what to do with the damned cat.

Later. It could all be taken care of later.

Now, all he wanted to do was sleep.

~~~

When he woke up, Kenma felt groggy. Frowning, he checked the clock - not even midnight. No wonder he still felt so weak. Lying back, he closed his eyes and tried to get back to sleep, wishing he hadn’t moved his body and broken the spell of slumber.

He’d dreamed.

He didn’t dream, not normally. Nights were just stretches of blackness. Occasionally he had images in his mind - trees, snow in winter, an ivory comb that was probably something from his forgotten childhood - but never real dreams.

Frowning he curled on his side, trying to remember what had happened in the dream.

There’d been other people there - two women, three - no, four men. Men? That didn’t quite feel right, but he didn't remember what they looked like, he just remembered the voices.

_Do we really want to do this._

_I don't know of any other way._

_Maybe we should keep searching._

_There’s no time._

_I’ll -_

What. I’ll what? It all felt like smoke in his hands, things that had been so important, so critical in the dream just wafting away with each breath he took. It was annoying, and it did nothing to help his anxiety. If sleep had ever thought about staying, it was long gone now.

Sighing, Kenma opened his eyes, immediately seeing the black cat statue that he’d bought earlier that afternoon. He hadn’t noticed earlier, but its eyes looked like amber marbles, staring at him.

It was more than a little disconcerting.

Sighing, Kenma flopped onto his back and covered his eyes with his hand. Statues could not stare. He was just tired, achy after his panic attack and discombobulated from the disastrous trip to the store. At least he’d bought Akaashi’s present.

He wondered if his friend was still online.

Turning things over in his mind he sat up enough to grab his laptop off of his bedside table, opening it up and logging on. Akaashi was a night owl - no pun intended - so it wasn’t surprising to see that his activity light was green.

**Applepi: Evening**

**Owlnathologist: Hello. You’re up late.**

Frowning, Kenma pondered this. It wasn’t really late for him. He stayed up late playing video games more often than he probably should - but then again, normally he’d log out of skype while playing so messages didn’t distract him.

He also didn’t really like telling people his business - but this wasn’t people. This was Akaashi, who listened without judgment and had his own insecurities to share. Sometimes, Kenma thought Akaashi was the only person in the world who saw things like he did, who felt the strange distance between how things were and how it felt like things should be.

**Applepi: Went shopping this afternoon. Had an episode. Slept but woke up early.**

There was a brief space, then he saw Akaashi typing back.

**Owlnathologist: Want to talk about it? It might make you feel better.**

It might. Akaashi had been the one to suggest that Kenma might feel better talking out the things that triggered his anxiety, positing it might help him feel like he had more control to put it into words. So he told him everything that had happened that afternoon, omitting only that he’d been in the store to shop for Akaashi’s birthday present.

It did not go over well.

**Owlnathologist: That sounds incredibly shady. I’m not sure I would consider them a reputable business establishment if they tried to force you to buy something like that. Is the statue even broken?**

**Applepi: Not really? I’ll check.**

He wasn’t terribly sure, to be honest. Frowning, Kenma pushed out of bed and walked over to his dresser, picking up the statue and inspecting it for damage. There were some pale spots on the underside of the arch he’d noticed earlier, but they didn’t seem broken. Although -

That was strange.

There was a chip on the bottom that he hadn’t noticed earlier. Hadn’t he just looked?

Frowning, he pulled out his other purchase, flipping through it. Fortunately, it seemed like something Akaashi would like. It was a book of field notes from explorers who had cataloged the night birds of the Japanese isles. There were several beautiful plates of illustrations interspersed among the text.

Pulling out the receipt, Kenma tried to remember exactly what he’d paid for the two of them.

The total almost made him drop the cat again.

Ten thousand yen?

Two thousand of that was for the book, which really wasn’t that bad - but eight thousand yen for the statue? What was it, an antique?

Frowning, Kenma dropped the receipt back in the bag and carried the statue with him back over to the bed. It wasn’t that fancy. There wasn't a signature on the bottom or a stamp to indicate the maker, so it couldn’t be that special, could it? And it still looked to him like it was incomplete somehow. Eight thousand yen seemed exorbitant.

**Applepi: It has a little chip.**

**Owlnathologist: But was it chipped from your accident, or before? It seems terribly shady to me.**

**Applepi: Yeah.**

**Owlnathologist: When I’m there we can take it back.**

The thought of taking it back made Kenma frown, and he looked down where the statue was resting in his lap. He was absently running his fingers over the curves and ridges of the statue, pinching the ears between his fingertips. It wasn’t soft at all, of course. It wasn’t something he’d normally like. He wasn’t very good with cats, and cat statues normally just reminded him of things that collected dust in the living rooms of old ladies.

This one was different.

**Applepi: Maybe.**

Knowing Akaashi, they’d probably end up back at the shop. For one thing, Kenma was fairly sure Akaashi would actually like the space. He liked old books and random bits of esoteric art. Sometimes Kenma wondered how they’d even gotten to be friends in the first place, their interests were so diverse.

The truth was he couldn’t even remember why they’d started talking. He just knew that he’d been talking to Akaashi almost every day for at least the past couple of years, though it was only now that they’d decided to actually meet up.

A part of Kenma was terrified about meeting Akaashi face to face. What if Akaashi didn’t actually like him in person? Most people thought he was weird, well. Either weird or uninteresting. Akaashi was gorgeous and dynamic. Even if Kenma wasn’t interested in him romantically, his friendship was probably the most stable relationship in Kenma’s life.

He didn’t want to lose it.

Rationally he knew he probably wouldn’t, but even the slightest risk was terrifying.

Maybe he should do like his therapist suggested and make new friends.

The face of the redhead at the store flashed into his mind for a moment. He dismissed it, confused at why he’d connected the idea of friendship with the man who’d yelled out -

No, he couldn’t’ve yelled out Kenma’s name. He must’ve misheard him.

Frowning, Kenma made excuses to Akaashi and curled up again, closing his laptop and placing the cat on top of it. He traced the cool porcelain with his fingers, bopping the cat on the nose.

If it was a real cat, it probably would’ve blinked at that point.

If it was a real cat, he doubted it would’ve let him anywhere near it.

Smiling a bit, he closed his eyes, trying to clear his mind of all thought.

This time when he slept, he didn’t dream.


	2. Apple Pie

The next day was a normal workday. Kenma worked in software testing, running scripts and reports and following step by step procedures to test out all the permutations a user might experience when engaging with an application. It wasn’t really interesting work, but the repetitiveness was soothing, and he liked the idea that he was making other people’s lives easier.

His boss handled most of the politics too, which was nice.

After work, he visited an American-style cafe, had a roast beef sandwich and green tea, and played on his phone.

Normal. Boring. Usual.

He still felt a bit keyed up from the adventure he’d taken the day before, enough that it felt like people were watching him as he ate. He didn’t see anyone, though. On his way home that night he did see something unusual outside his apartment building - a large horned owl sitting in a tree in the yard across from his building.

It stopped Kenma in his tracks. He wasn’t used to seeing wildlife in the city.

Maybe he just hadn’t noticed?

The owl watched him, an unreadable look on his face.

“I have a friend of mine who would love to see you,” Kenma muttered.

The owl just hooted in response, tilting its head to the side. Kenma almost thought it had understood him.

That was foolish, though.

Shaking his head, Kenma turned towards his stairs. “You should stick around,” he said, feeling even more foolish for continuing to talk to the bird. One last glance made him feel justified, though, because the owl had spread its wings out, moonlight catching in the dark feathers. Kenma could almost understand how Akaashi would want to spend his life studying the creatures.

Then it flew off.

Pushing down a sense of vague disappointment, Kenma turned back towards his apartment and climbed the stairs to his small 1DK. He felt strangely adrift, consoling himself by petting the head of his porcelain cat. 

Later he told Akaashi about it as they talked about what all he and Akaashi would do while the other was visiting. Akaashi still insisted they’d take the cat back to the store. There was no valid reason for Kenma to object to that; it wasn’t like he could really afford such an expensive thing. A part of him kept pointing out how the statue was completely out of place in his apartment, in his life. He wasn’t the type to get sentimental over things. Hell, he didn’t even decorate; didn’t have any photos or personal items up on the walls. He had wallpaper from his favorite anime up on his laptop, but that was all.

The cat was an anomaly. He should pack it up and get it ready to take back to the store.

He thought about it several times that night, but it was strangely comforting to be able to look over at the black cat and know that it was there for him to run his fingers over whenever he was waiting for another match to start in his game. It was an indulgence, but he supposed he could have a few of those, even if it felt out of character to him.

The next few days proceeded more like the first. He saw the owl a few more times and also noticed that there was a group of crows that had flown in to rest in the trees near his office. He normally fed pigeons on his lunch break, giving them crusts of bread. The crows chased them away, one smaller one being so bold as to sit on the back of his bench and squawk at him. It was a little disconcerting, but they ate the bread as well as the pigeons, so he wasn’t too concerned.

It just felt like his ordinary life had turned, well. 

A little less ordinary.

The day before he was supposed to pick up Akaashi, he ran into a man going into the cafe. The collision made him drop his phone. He was apologizing, looking around to see where it had landed when a hand held it out in front of him.

“Sorry,” the man said. “I didn’t mean to startle you.”

“Ah, no no, it’s ok,” Kenma said, reaching forward to take the phone before he looked up into the man’s eyes.

Golden eyes, like his own.

Messy black hair - he’d seen him before. The memory was blurry but was linked to panic. Only the fact that the other man still had his phone kept Kenma from bolting right then and there. 

“Are you following me?” he blurted out, watching alarm blossom on the other man’s face. Shit. That was - how rude -

“No, no, of course not,” the man said, running his free hand through his hair and looking to the side. “Ah, I just - I heard this cafe has really good apple pie?” 

Did they? Kenma furrowed his brow, trying to remember if he’d ever tried it. “I’m not a big dessert person,” he said finally, feeling one of those strange empty places in his memory that he occasionally ran up against. Had he liked apple pie growing up? He couldn’t remember.

“You don't - what?”

Shrugging, Kenma took his phone and stuffed it in his pocket. “I don't normally eat sweets? Uh.”

“But you love apple pie,” the man said, voice uncertain.

Kenma gave him a sharp look. “I think I know what I like well enough,” he said.

The man seemed at a loss, looking to the side finally. “Uh, well. You really should try their apple pie at least. Maybe you just don’t like it because you’ve never tried it?”

Shrugging, Kenma considered his words as he followed the man’s gaze to the power lines. There were more crows there. “I - maybe.”

“Let me buy you a piece? To make up for startling you and almost making you bust up your phone?”

The logic didn’t quite track, but Kenma didn’t have any clue as to how to answer except in the affirmative. People didn’t offer to buy him things, really. Normally, people didn’t notice him at all.

They went inside and got settled in a booth, Kenma still trying to figure out exactly what was going on. “You were at the bookstore,” he finally said. 

“I was,” the man said, giving him a warm smile. “I’m Kuroo, by the way. Kuroo Tetsurou.”

“Kuro,” Kenma said, making the connection between the name and the cat statue. Panic started to rise up. “Ah, I mean Kuroo-san, sorry -”

“No, no it’s ok. You can call me Kuro.”

The smile was back, soft and almost reassuring. Kuro was watching him, but it wasn’t as disconcerting as it should have been. “Ok,” Kenma said. “I’m Kozume. Kozume Kenma.”

“Yes,” Kuro said, eyes looking at him in a way that seemed far too familiar. Kenma had to look away, not really sure what to do with himself.

“Ah, sorry, Ken - I mean, Kozume. Do you normally get a set here? Or?”

“I normally get the roast beef sandwich,” Kenma said, toes shifting in his shoes. “And green tea.”

The man wasn’t going to buy him dinner as well, was he? Kenma ducked his head, hiding his face behind his hair as he tried to work out what to do. He thought about pulling his phone out from his pocket so he could ask Akaashi, but that might come off as rude. 

“That sounds delicious. I normally eat Japanese food. This is a switch.”

“Oh?” Kenma asked, trying to find a script that fit. “Ah, what do you like?”

“Grilled mackerel is my favorite, though I like yakitori as well. What about yourself?”

There Kenma floundered, trying to think of a good answer. He shrugged. “Lots of things, I guess.”

“No vegetables, right?”

Kenma scowled at him, still feeling unsettled and on edge with the whole situation. And this guy, acting like he knew Kenma just on sight - it was annoying. 

“Making judgments? What, I look like the type of person who only likes sweets and doesn't like healthy food?”

The look in Kuro’s eyes now was slightly sad, making Kenma wish he could take back his words. The other man beat him to it, though.

“Sorry,” Kuro said. “I didn’t mean to offend you.”

“Ah - it’s ok. I just, um,” Kenma replied, trying to figure out why he was even reacting like this at all. The man made him feel off balance. Not in a bad way, exactly, but Kenma couldn’t put his finger on it. Looking to change the subject, he said, “You’re the man who was selling the statue, right?”

“Statue?” Kuro asked, waving down a waitress.

“The black cat?”

“Statue,” Kuro repeated, brow furrowing. “Ah, yes. Yes, that would be me. What, ah. What do you think of it?”

Kenma opened his mouth, unsure what to say. This had been a bad idea. If he told Kuro that he liked the statue, then it would make no sense for him to return it. If he said he didn’t like it, Kuro might ask for it back, and that -

He really didn’t want to give it back.

Fortunately, the waitress came at just that moment, saving him from having to say anything. Kuro ordered for both of them. Kenma thought he probably should mind, but at the moment he was just glad not to have to say anything.

After she was gone, a silence stretched between them that was only mildly uncomfortable. Kenma glanced up, expecting to see Kuro studying him again, but the man seemed to be looking around the diner instead.

“This type of place is interesting,” Kuro suddenly said. “People being so careful about how they eat their soup, families with small children ordering ommurice - and there’s so much space between tables. I should come to places like this more often. My point of view is probably outdated.”

“Point of view?” Kenma asked, confused.

Kuro smiled at him. “I’m a writer. Fantasy stories mainly, things set in the past. Still, it doesn’t hurt to be more aware of things that are current. I might branch out.”

Nodding, Kenma said, “I don’t really read books much. My video games often have fantasy type plots, though.”

“You make video games?” Kuro asked, leaning forward, sounding curious.

“What? Oh, no. I just play them,” said Kenma. “I’m just in QA for a company that makes business applications.”

“Oh,” Kuro said. 

The disappointment on his face was grating. Kenma knew that what he did for a living was boring, he didn’t need other people to point it out - though why Kuro’s opinion mattered to him, he didn’t know. Sighing a bit, he asked, “What are your stories about?”

“Ah! Tengu sometimes, or old ghost stories - people eat up stories about ninja and samurai too. But my favorite story - do you want to hear?”

“Sure,” Kenma said, shrugging. He wasn’t sure that he really did, but it was better than the conversation turning back towards him.

“Ah, ok. Well, I haven’t published it, but it’s a story about six friends who sacrificed everything in order to save the world.”

Raising an eyebrow, Kenma asked, “Are you sure this isn’t a superhero story?” 

He didn’t mean to sound critical, not really. Just trying to make conversation, feeling awkward about the whole thing. Maybe the other man would treat it like it was a joke.

But Instead of laughing Kuro just looked down, another sad smile on his face. “Heroes?” he mused. “I guess they were, in a way.”.

“What did they do?”

“Um. There was an um - a thing that threatened everyone.”

“Like a magic sword? Or a bad guy?”

“Not a bad guy,” Kuro said, brow furrowing. “Maybe more like a sword, or uh, well, kinda a bomb? A magic bomb.”

“A magic bomb?” Kenma asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Eh, kinda?” Kuro replied, scratching his nose and thanking the waitress as she dropped off their drinks. “It’s complicated. Anyways, in the end, five of the friends had to give up everything in order to lock it away.”

“Five? I thought you said there were six?”

“Well, the sixth, he uh - he was the one who figured out how to do it, and now he’s searching everywhere for a way to get them back.”

Furrowing his brow, Kenma asked, “So he’s the main character of your story? The real hero?”

“Hero?” Kuro asked, scowling a moment. “I’m not sure I’d call him a hero.”

“But he’s trying to save his friends -”

“And he also put them in that position, because he couldn’t think of anything else better to do.”

“Was there anything else better to do?” Kenma asked.

Something flashed in Kuro’s eyes. “There should’ve been,” he said. “He could’ve - well, let's just say some of his friends think he acted rashly.”

“Friends other than the ones who are lost.”

“Yeah,” Kuro said, looking down at his hands, lips twisting. “Yeah, them.”

“Sounds, uh. Sounds like an interesting story,” said Kenma, not sure what to make of the way Kuro was acting. Maybe authors just got really worked up about their stories. “Lots of drama, at least?”

“Yeah,” said Kuro, looking to the side. “Lots and lots of drama. Heh. Uh, does it sound like any story you’ve ever heard before?”

“Not really?” Kenma asked, trying to think if he’d heard anything about it. “Should it? I don't really read a lot of books or watch a lot of movies.”

Kuro was giving him a long look, searching his face for something. Suddenly Kenma wished he had something to tell him, some way to answer what felt like a million unspoken questions behind the other’s golden eyes. 

“Ah, well,” Kuro said, laughing softly, “That’s good, right? That’s good. Means it’s an original idea, that I’m not just ripping someone off.”

Kenma nodded. “What are the other characters like? The other five.”

“The best out of all of them,” Kuro said, giving Kenma a bittersweet smile. “Though they left without really saying goodbye.”

“Because if they’d told anyone, their friends would’ve stopped them?”

Frowning, Kuro shrugged. “Maybe. Does that make it better?”

“Maybe,” Kenma said, thinking about how things might play out if it were one of his games. Their sandwiches arrived, and Kenma thanked the waitress before turning back to Kuro. “Did they really save the world?”

“Ah, who knows. Maybe they just saved their world? Their friends. Still, it’s possible the cost was too high.”

“Maybe they thought the cost was worth it.”

“I wish I knew.”

Kenma scrunched up his nose. “You don’t know? You’re the writer. I thought writers knew everything about their stories.”

“Ack! Called out, and you barely even know me. I’m hurt,” Kuro said, crossing his hands over his chest and leaning back.

Curling his shoulders Kenma looked to the side. Had that been rude? He’d been pulled into the conversation far more than expected. Kuro was strangely easy to talk to, even if he was weird and made Kenma feel like he was walking on ice floes.

“Sorry,” he muttered, digging into his sandwich.

“It’s fine, ki - ah - Kozume-san,” said Kuro.

Swallowing a bite, Kenma glanced down. “You don’t have to be so formal,” he said, tempted to take the words back right away. Truth be told, though, he’d never really been one to stick to formalities anyhow. Kozume-san was someone who was boring, who went to work and punched a clock. He’d rather be someone else right now.

He wondered what Akaashi would think of this little meeting. Would he approve? He had told Kenma he should get out more, and in a way, this meeting with Kuro was practice for when Akaashi came into town. Kenma’s therapist would definitely like it. Him going out, having a meal with someone, holding a fairly normal conversation without having a panic attack - that was leaps and bounds of progress. 

It didn’t really feel like work, though.

Nibbling his bottom lip, Kenma pushed the plate away, wiping his mouth with a napkin.

Kuro blinked at him, still only half-done with his sandwich. “Good?” he asked.

Feeling self-conscious, Kenma nodded. “Sorry, I’m ... I guess I’m a fast eater when I’m nervous.”

Doh.

“I’m sorry I make you nervous,” Kuro said, voice soft.

“No, that’s not it,” said Kenma. “I - I don’t normally eat with other people. Normally the only companions I have with me when I eat are birds.”

Giving him an odd look, Kuro said, “I have to admit you don’t exactly strike me as a bird person.”

“Well, pigeons normally?” said Kenma, playing with his spoon and rolling it between his fingers as he watched Kuro continue to eat. “They like the bread crumbs, and I don’t always like my crusts. Hey, are you laughing at that?”

Kuro shook his head, though his shoulders were shaking.

It was annoying, but not too annoying. It actually made him feel strangely warm inside.

“Yeah, though this week there’s a flock of crows that have kinda pushed them out.

“Crows?” Kuro asked, frowning and glancing out the window. “Really.”

“Yeah, maybe they’re just in town because of migration? Do crows migrate?”

“Some of them, perhaps,” said Kuro. “Some like to just hang around one place too much and cause a mess. By the way, it’s not a flock, it’s a murder.”

“A murder?” Kenma asked, making a face.

“A murder of crows, yeah.”

“Wait, people want to kill crows?”

Kuro laughed. “Ah! Sometimes,” he said, smiling at Kenma. “But I meant a gathering of crows, it’s not called a flock, it’s called a murder.”

There were crumbs on his cheek. Kenma was tempted to brush them - wait no, that thought needed to be censored right now. 

“Oh. Well. That’s just plain weird.”

“Probably, yeah,” Kuro said, tongue darting out to clean the crumbs. “It’s probably just some English thing. They had all sorts of weird names. Did you know a group of owls is called a parliament?”

“Do owls normally group together?” Kenma asked. He’d always thought of owls as solitary beings. Akaashi would know.

“Sometimes, I guess? And they’re loud and obnoxious too, especially the big ones. Well, at least when things aren’t....”

“Aren’t what?”

Kuro frowned, glancing to the side. “Ah, nothing. It’s just a hypothetical situation, right?”

Right.

“I’ve seen an owl lately,” Kenma said. “He’s pretty quiet tho. Just hoots sometimes and flies off.”

“He - wait, what kind?”

“Horned owl? It might be a she, I don’t know. A friend of mine studies owls, but I don't really pay much attention.”

“Well, the females tend to be bigger,” Kuro said, a bit distracted. He’d pulled out his phone and was typing something in. “Did it look like this?”

Kenma furrowed his brow, looking at the picture that Kuro had brought up on his phone. It looked like the architecture of the bookstore, but the owl was resting on a tree branch. Maybe there was a courtyard or something he hadn’t seen. “Yes, maybe? I mean, I’m not sure I’m really qualified to tell one owl from another. Well, except snowy owls look different than the horned ones, everyone knows that. And barn owls too. That’s about as far as I know, though. Why, what is that one?”

“Ah, a friend of mine, I guess you’d say,” said Kuro, frowning at his phone and then looking at their plates. “Ready for dessert?”

“I guess,” said Kenma. He watched as Kuro flagged the waitress down, giving her an order for two pies. She looked at Kenma curiously, probably because he hadn’t ever ordered pie.

Then again, he hadn’t eaten dinner with a strange man before, either.

A corner of his brain whispered that Kuro was a handsome stranger. He silenced that part of his brain, first with the fact that the man’s hair was an utter disaster and second with the fact that there was no way he would be attracted to a stranger.

Hell, he wasn’t sure he’d ever been attracted to anyone, even Akaashi - and Akaashi was probably much better looking than this guy.

“What are you thinking?” Kuro asked, peering at him.

“What? Nothing!” said Kenma, ducking his head.

Chuckling, Kuro reached out to brush the hair away from his face. Kenma caught his wrist and they both froze, Kenma almost ready to bolt.

“I’m sorry!” Kuro blurted out, pulling his hand back. “Sorry, I don’t know what I was thinking.”

Kenma nodded, pressing a hand to his chest. “I just - I don’t know you,” he said, feeling like he shouldn’t have to explain himself but wanting to anyway. 

“Damn it,” Kuro said, looking away. “I should’ve - I’m so sorry, Kenma. I - the last thing I wanted to do was startle you.”

He felt angry, a bit, and he didn’t know why. Angry, but his heart hurt to see Kuro looking so sad. It was all terribly confusing, so the arrival of the apple pie was a welcome distraction. 

The first bite was warm and gooey and sweet and tart, better than anything Kenma had ever had. His eyes went wide. 

“Bad?” Kuro asked, a worried look on his face.

Shaking his head, Kenma said, “Um. I think I like it. A little, maybe.”

“Oh,” said Kuro, starting to smile. “A little?”

“Maybe.”

The smile only grew, and it felt so much better than the look that had been on the man’s face a few minutes before. Why did he even care? This man was a perfect stranger. Kenma wasn’t one to really care about the opinions of perfect strangers. Normally people’s joy or sorrow just made him uncomfortable, separate from how they felt. Kuro was like this apple pie, unexpected and making his heart pound for reasons that were probably just connected to his anxiety.

“So, are you ever going to come back to the bookstore?” Kuro asked. “I hang out there a lot, you know. It’s kinda my place.”

“Oh, a good reason to stay away then,” Kenma said, flushing slightly when he realized that had probably come out all wrong.

“Kenma! What a thing to say!”

There was his given name again, something that not even Akaashi called him. He had told Kuro to be less formal, but he wasn’t really sure how he should feel about this level of informality. If it was anyone else, he would probably say something. Kuro felt different - why would Kuro be any different than anyone else? What was happening that he didn’t mind that this man - stranger - called him by his first name? Instead of upsetting him, he found that he was actually smiling, glancing up and enjoying the look of shock on Kuro’s face - right up until his face crumpled like he was going to cry.

“Kuro? I didn’t mean it, not like that,” said Kenma, panicking.

“I know, I know,” said Kuro. “You just - ah - you remind me of someone I lost.”

Someone he lost. Kenma reminded him of someone he lost.

“Oh,” said Kenma, feeling suddenly like the world was shifting around him. Foolish, foolish - “Is that why you’re here? Why you - because -”

His heart started to pound as he thought about it. What if this man was only here, was only being nice and acting interested because of that someone else. It made everything make sense. After all, Kenma was nothing, no one interesting, so why anyone would pay this much attention to him - there had to be a reason other than Kenma himself. Why a handsome - fuck - he was so stupid -

“Shh,” Kuro said, reaching over and laying a hand on top of Kenma’s. “Breathe. In and out. Breathe, Kenma. You’re ok.”

He wasn’t ok. He wasn’t, he was all tied up in knots and there was absolutely no reason - thanks, anxiety - but Kuro’s touch did make it better, somehow. His hand was warm, fingers gentle as they stroked the back of Kenma’s hand. Kenma closed his eyes, focusing on the touch.

“I’m sorry again,” Kuro said. “This has been a bit of a disaster, hasn’t it? I wouldn’t be surprised if you never wanted to see me again.”

Kenma shook his head. “That’s - it’s not that - it’s just -”

“What?” Kuro murmured, voice filling Kenma’s ears like honey. 

Swallowing, Kenma finally said, “It’s stupid.”

“What’s stupid?”

The fact that I had a panic attack because I wanted you to like me, he thought but didn’t say. Instead, he just shook his head, pulling away from that gentle touch and picking up his fork. “Can I just finish my pie?” he asked.

“Of course. Whatever you want. Whatever you need.”

Kenma chanced looking up at Kuro’s face with those words, heart hurting at the caring in the other man’s eyes. 

There was no way he could tell Akaashi about this. No way in hell.

At least the apple pie was good.

They ate in silence for a few moments, Kenma savoring every bite of the pie. Kuro had been right - he did like it. Licking his lips he sat back in the booth, watching as Kuro paid the bill.

“You didn’t have to buy my whole dinner,” Kenma murmured.

“It’s fine,” Kuro said, lips curling up into a smile. It was slightly strained, but they were at least a little more relaxed than they had been earlier. “You can buy next time.”

Raising an eyebrow, Kenma said, “You’re assuming that there will be a next time?”

“Only if you want,” Kuro said, running a hand through his hair. “I uh - we could go walking, or I could tell you more stories.”

Once again, Kenma felt that fear that all of this was only because he reminded Kuro of someone else. It made his heart ache inside. Still, he had somewhat enjoyed himself and learned about a new favorite food. 

“Maybe,” Kenma said, impulses warring inside him.

“Great!” said Kuro. “Well, can we exchange emails or something? So we can text back and forth?”

Shrugging, Kenma pulled up his phone and showed him the email.

“Applepi?” Kuro asked. “I thought you didn’t like apple pie. Before now, at least.”

Flushing a bit at the teasing, Kenma said, “It’s just a pun. You know, pi, because pi is the number for a circle? And pies are round?”

“Oh,” Kuro said, eyes laughing. “I see. A pun, is it?”

“Well, yeah. And pi is my favorite number.”

“Your favorite number? Hah, of course. It couldn’t be something simple, like seven or thirteen.”

“Pi is really cool,” Kenma said. “It goes on forever, so it’s infinitely long, and it contains all other numbers in it. If you changed letters into numbers, it would probably contain everything everyone has ever said. It’s just like a circle, it holds everything.”

The smile on Kuroo’s face was wide and warm. “And you accuse me of being a nerd,” he said.

“I do not,” Kenma said, affronted.

“Do too.”

“Do not!” 

“Do too.”

“Do - ok, this is just foolish. When have I ever accused you of being a nerd? We just started talking!”

The smile on Kuro’s face froze, and it made Kenma’s heart clench in realization.

The other person - the person he reminded Kuro of. Fuck. “I need to go,” he said, pulling away and moving to the edge of the bench.

“Kenma, wait!” Kuro said, reaching out and grabbing his wrist.

Kenma froze. “My name,” he said, “Is Kozume. I’d appreciate it if you weren’t so familiar.”

Cursing under his breath, Kuro said, “I’m sorry, ok? I’m sorry. Just - is it still ok for me to text you?”

He unwrapped his fingers from Kenma’s wrist. Any anger in Kenma’s heart drifted away with the loss of contact. “Do what you want,” he finally said, then walked out to catch some fresh air, walking away as fast as he could in case Kuro was trying to follow him.

When he got home, he screamed into his pillow, turning his back on the black cat. Why did it hurt? Why did he care? Why -

He didn’t have any answers. 

Just questions.

Questions for another day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not promising any kind of update schedule with this, though I do have more written out :) hit a slight block last week though, so at a certain point updates will probably be slower. We shall see.


	3. The Owlnathologist

The messages Akaashi had left him the night before woke Kenma right up when he read them the next morning. Laughing softly, he enjoyed the way Akaashi had recounted the obnoxiousness of his coworkers and their last-minute requests before he went on vacation. This was what he needed. He smiled, making sure things were straightened up before going down to the train station to meet his friend.

He passed the time waiting by playing a few games on his phone, smiling when Akaashi texted him that he was almost there.

Getting up he waited, eyes scanning the crowd that exited the train.

“Akaashi-san,” he said as the other man walked up to him.

Green eyes twinkled a bit as Akaashi nodded. “Kozume-san. It is a pleasure to meet you. Please take care of me while I am here in your city.”

“I’ll do my best,” Kenma replied. “Want to drop your things off at my apartment and then go get lunch?”

“That sounds like a good idea.”

Akaashi was just as comfortable in person as he was online - calm, quick-witted with a wry sense of humor. Kenma thought again about telling him about the dinner he’d had with Kuro the night before, but decided he just wanted to put that behind him.

Except, of course, there was the issue of the cat.

“Isn’t this the cat we need to take back to that store?” Akaashi asked, picking it up and frowning at it. It hadn’t taken long for them to look around Kenma’s apartment, considering it was basically just one room with a tiny kitchen and bath.

Biting his bottom lip, Kenma said, “We don’t have to do that today.”

“But we might as well get it over with, right? I’m still incensed those people thought they could take advantage of you like that.”

Kenma frowned. “It’s not like I’m helpless, Akaashi,” he muttered. 

“Oh? And you’re saying you wanted to buy this - this thing?”

“Well, no,” said Kenma. “Not at the time -”

“Then we should take it back. Why anyone would want to own this thing is beyond me. It looks hideous.”

Making a face, Kenma tried to figure out a good comeback. Why did Akaashi hate the thing so much? As far as Kenma knew, his friend actually liked cats, had even considered getting a kitten except that he was gone too often for work.

Oh well. 

Choosing not to argue, Kenma took the cat from him and cradled it a minute. Maybe Akaashi could at least talk them into giving them some of the money back? Kuro had been nice -

Oh shit. They might see Kuro.

Well, it was probably better to cut ties with him altogether anyway, especially if all he was to the man was a reminder of some long-lost lover.

Person.

Friend.

Ducking his head, Kenma tried to figure out why his mind had gone to lover right away. That didn’t make any sense - had Kuro been giving him that vibe? Why would he even know what that vibe was like?

“Here,” he muttered, pulling the tissue paper out of the garbage and wrapping the cat up. “We can stop by there before we go to lunch.”

“Sounds good,” Akaashi said.

In some ways, Akaashi was pushier than he was expecting. Harder-edged. Not toward Kenma, not really, but he was grateful he wasn’t on Akaashi’s bad side. He acted protective whenever they had to go around crowds, glaring at a man who bumped into Kenma and almost verbally assaulting another who had made some remark that Kenma hadn't caught. Most of all, he kept dropping subtle complaints about the bookstore. Kenma hoped he at least liked his birthday present, that it wouldn't upset him because it reminded him of the place. 

“You know,” he ventured as they walked down the street to catch the train, “maybe it really is store policy? I mean, they didn’t seem mean -”

“You have to be careful,” said Akaashi. “People will try to take advantage of you wherever you go.”

Kenma frowned, weighing that in his mind. People didn’t try to take advantage of him. Then again, he supposed people would actually have to notice you to take advantage of you. Kenma rarely drew attention for anything other than his hair, but even then he seemed to pass from people’s notice fairly quickly.

Not that he had a problem with that.

Akaashi, on the other hand, was gorgeous. Flawless pale skin, dark grey-green eyes that seemed to see everything in his path, hands with long delicate fingers - maybe people made the mistake of thinking he was soft. He wasn’t.

He was hard, and vigilant, pulling Kenma towards him on the train as they rode toward the neighborhood with the bookstore.

Akaashi was like a sword.

“I’m glad you’re here,” Kenma murmured as they got to their stop.

“What was that?” asked Akaashi, glancing down at him.

“Ah, nothing.”

His friend did not seem very demonstrative. Kenma wasn’t really one to compliment others, anyhow. Instead, he just followed Akaashi down the street towards the bookstore, slightly bemused at the fact that his friend was leading even though he was the one who’d been there before. Now that he thought about it, Akaashi did remind him of a bird of prey - definitely an owl, always looking from side to side as if he was ready to pounce. Kenma supposed that if someone studied birds for that long they were bound to act a bit like one.

That reminded him, he still needed to tell Akaashi about the owl that had been hanging around his apartment. Maybe they’d see it when they went home.

Akaashi pushed open the door to the bookstore, and Kenma noticed the same bell that he’d heard the first time he went. This time there were different people at the counter - a man with wavy brown hair and a girl with brown hair and a ponytail.

“Welcome to -” the man started, looking up with a bright smile that quickly turned to a look of shock. “What are you doing here.”

Well, that was an odd welcome.

Akaashi took it in stride, though, taking the bag from Kenma’s arm and marching up to the counter. “We are here,” he said, “to return this horrid statue that one of your salespeople forced on my friend as some sort of scam. Did he think just because my friend was having a panic attack that it was proper form him to sell him this dime-store piece of junk for eight-thousand yen?”

Kenma frowned, wanting to say that the cat was not just some dime-store piece of junk. He glanced at the balcony in the back of the store, almost worried that Kuro might have overheard what Akaashi said. He wasn’t particularly happy about Akaashi bringing up the fact that he’d had a panic attack, either, but -

“Akaashi?” said the girl, eyes wide. “Is it really you?”

“What the - how do you know my name? Have you been stalking him too?”

“What?” the girl said. Kaori, that was the name on her nametag. She looked nice, a smattering of freckles across her nose. The way she looked at Akaashi -

It reminded Kenma of how Kuro had looked at him.

He held to the edge of the glass counter tightly, feeling like the bottom was starting to fall out from under him and not knowing why.

Then there was a voice behind them.

“Ok, I heard some racket up here, Oikawa - seriously can’t even trust you to watch -”

It was the blond from the first day. Konoha. The one who’d been so rude - well - maybe rude? Kenma was a poor judge of those things.

Right now, the man just looked wary.

“First you,” he said, pointing at Kenma, “And now - what’s going on here?”

That was what Kenma wanted to know.

“Now now, we talked about this, Konoha,” the man behind the counter said. “I mean, we shouldn’t be too hasty -”

“No, that’s what Kai said when that one came in, but now Akaashi’s here? Waltzing in like - what - “

“I do not know why you all insist on using my name when we’ve never been introduced,” Akaashi said, voice frosty.

“Never been introduced - are you shitting me?”

“Akaashi,” the girl said, reaching out then pulling back. “Oh wow, we’ve got to go tell -”

“No!” Oikawa shouted. “No. Look, I don’t know what’s happening, but the fewer people we involve until we figure this out -”

“Oh, what,” Konoha said, “don’t want everyone to know because this is probably all your fault? Just like this whole mess from the start -”

“Excuse me -”

“Even your precious Iwa-chan isn’t here to protect you because of what you -”

“Stop,” Kenma whispered, pressing back against the counter as hard as he could. “Please just -”

“I’m not sure what problem the two of you have with each other," Akaashi said, "but right now all I want is to figure out what’s going on -”

“He said stop.”

That voice was familiar and oh so welcome.

Kuro was pushing past Konoha and heading straight for Kenma. Kenma locked eyes with him, using the concerned warmth in that gaze as an anchor until it was blocked by Akaashi’s body.

“Just who the hell do you think you are?” Akaashi asked, hands reaching back and tugging Kenma close. It made him feel terribly conflicted. If Akaashi was a sword, the edge of his blade now seemed to be pointed at everyone else in the room.

“I’m Kuro,” the dark-haired man said, waving his hands in the air in a conciliatory gesture. “Kenma and I are friends.”

“Liar,” Akaashi hissed. “Kenma doesn’t have any friends except me.”

Kuro frowned, looking from Akaashi to Kenma and then over to Oikawa. “Well,” he said evenly, “I think it’s safe to say something’s wrong.”

“What’s wrong is the way all of you are -”

“Keiji,” Kenma whispered, “You’re hurting me.”

There was a wounded look in Akaashi’s eyes as he glanced down, then his eyes filled with concern. “I’m sorry,” he said, loosening his grasp so that Kenma could breathe. 

“Can we just sit down a moment? Please?”

A short man with light-brown hair said, “I think that sounds like an excellent idea.”

He was new. Kenma honestly wasn’t sure how many people were crowding around them now, drawn by the sound of the altercation. This new man seemed calm, though; Kenma remembered he was the one who had held Kuro back the first time they’d met.

“Sorry they’re all such hotheads,” the man said.

Kuro snorted. “You’re calling other people hotheads, Yaku?”

Yaku, if that was what his name was, shot Kuro a rude look before looking up at Akaashi. “I’m sorry for the confusion,” he said. “We have a tea room upstairs if that would work for you. It has a view of the courtyard, and many people find it calming.”

Akaashi frowned, glancing down at Kenma. “Do you want to?”

“Yes,” Kenma said, turning to pull the bag off the counter and into his arms. He ducked his head and followed Yaku towards the stairs. Kuro was watching him, he knew, but kept his distance. Probably because of the glares Akaashi was sending him. 

“That one seems like a pain in the ass,” Akaashi muttered.

Probably.

It made Kenma smile, though, especially when he heard Kuro squawk in reply. Hopefully, the two of them could learn to get along.

Kuro considered Kenma his friend?

He liked that thought. It was distracting, enough to keep him calm even though they were walking through a ton of strangers and people were whispering. Well, maybe not a ton. Too many, though - enough that Yaku had to shoo everyone away before leading them to a seating area next to a large glass window.

Kenma sat down in the middle of a couch, turning to look out at the rock garden in the courtyard below. Tall trees lined the edge of the walkway. Kenma was pretty sure he recognized some of the trees from the picture Kuro had shown him of the owl. The girl from the counter was down there, talking to a short blonde who looked up at the window, eyes widening when she saw his face. She clutched at Kaori’s shirt, talking rapidly. If Oikawa had wanted this to remain secret, it was obvious it wasn’t going to for long.

Though what this was, Kenma wasn’t sure.

“Konoha will get drinks for us,” Yaku said. 

For a moment Kenma wondered why no one had asked him what he wanted. He was soon distracted by the glare Akaashi was giving Kuro, much more direct this time. Akaashi had sat on one side of Kenma on the couch, and Kuro had chosen to take the other end. He was leaning against the arm, not trying to get close to Kenma - but evidently, that wasn’t enough for Akaashi, who had wrapped an arm around Kenma’s shoulders and was pulling him close.

It felt -

Kenma wasn’t sure how he felt. Wasn’t sure what he thought of how protective Akaashi was being. It was nice in a way, but something about it felt off, even to him. 

“I’m fine, Akaashi,” he murmured.

“Fine? We’re surrounded by strangers, one of whom is looking at you like -”

“Like what?” Kuro interrupted, a lazy smirk on his face. 

It made Kenma want to kick him.

Instead, he just wiggled so that Akaashi loosened his hold, and studied the other people seated with them. Yaku was in an armchair across from him. The person they’d called Oikawa was on a loveseat to the side, looking at the two of them with wide eyes.

Kenma remembered what he’d first asked. 

What are you doing here?

There’d been recognition in his gaze. All of them - they’d known Akaashi’s name, seemed to know Kenma’s - why? It was all so strange.

“Here we go,” Konoha said, coming back and setting a tray on the table between them. “Milk for you, Kuroo, and iced green tea for Kenma. Chai for Akaashi - it’s not the spicy kind, Suga finished that when he came to visit last month. Ah, and here’s that weird green milk tea you like, Oikawa.”

“It’s not weird!” Oikawa said, grabbing the glass and taking a defiant sip.

“It is,” Konoha retorted, hanging a mug of something hot to Yaku and drinking some water himself. 

Akaashi looked at the glass suspiciously before reaching out and picking it up. “I’m not sure we should drink anything these strangers have prepared.”

Huffing, Kenma took a sip of his tea, eyes widening in surprise. It was good - only slightly sweet, not too much. He looked at Konoha curiously, then over at Kuro, assuming that he’d told him what he liked.

Kuro had a milk mustache.

It made Kenma duck his head to hide a giggle, though he saw Kuro’s fingers flicker in his eyesight like the man was acknowledging his amusement. 

“It’s good, Akaashi,” he murmured, glancing up at his friend.

Frowning, Akaashi took a sip, eyes widening in surprise. Nodding, Akaashi gave Konoha a measuring look. “How did you know what I wanted?”

Konoha snorted. “It’s not like it’s that big a mystery. It’s what you always drink. You and Suga have contests to see who can take it the hottest.”

“Suga?” Akaashi asked.

The name sounded familiar to Kenma, but he couldn’t place it. And anyways, the whole thing didn’t make sense, because -

“I’ve never seen you before in my life, and I have no clue who this Suga person is you keep talking about,” Akaashi stated, setting the glass down on the end table next to him. “Now, would you all like to explain what this charade is about and why you all are acting like you know us?”

“What?” Konoha said, looking from Yaku to Oikawa. “Why do you keep acting like we’re strangers? I’ve known you since I was a chick, up until you went and disappeared -”

“Disappeared? What in the world are you going on about?”

“Oikawa, I swear this is all your fault -”

“It’s not!” Oikawa said. “It isn’t. Well, not this part, at least.”

“Then what part is your fault?” Akaashi asked.

“Um -”

“Stop it,” Kuro said. “We all agreed that this wasn’t his fault. Continuing to blame him doesn’t solve anything.”

“Thank you, Kuroo.”

“Not all of us agreed,” said Konoha, looking angry.

“Bokuto did, and that’s all that should matter to you.”

“Oh yeah, thanks. Like I’d remember the last words he ever said to us before he decided to check out too.”

“He’s not checking out, he’s just -”

“Who’s Bokuto?” Kenma asked.

That name - had Kuro mentioned it to him before? It felt familiar, though he couldn’t place it.

“Is someone going to tell us what happened or are we just going to need to -” Akaashi started. 

He was interrupted by another man rushing up the stairs and over to them. “Is it true? Are they back? Is - where’s Takahiro?”

“Mattsun,” Oikawa said, face tight as he looked up at the new man. “It’s not - it’s just -”

He was broad-shouldered, with wild black hair and bushy eyebrows. There was an incredible hope on his face as he looked from Kenma to Akaashi. “Where’s Makki? Is he with you? And Kiyoko? What about the others - did you finally figure out a way to - what, Oikawa, you told us, we should’ve believed you that they’d come back, because they’re here now, right?”

Oikawa looked from him and over to Kenma and Akaashi, pain clearly written on his face. “Um, I’m not sure that’s...”

“Kozume?” the man said, worry starting to replace the hope in his eyes. “Akaashi?”

“I’m sorry,” Kenma said, “But I don’t have any idea who you are, and I don’t know anyone named Makki.”

The man seemed to deflate right in front of them, curling over the back of the loveseat. “No, no, no, you promised, he promised - he said whatever happened that he’d always come back, damn it, and then you let him go instead of me, Oikawa, you -”

“Hush,” Oikawa said, urging the man to come around and sit on the loveseat next to him. “I know I did. I’m sorry.”

Kenma watched them as Oikawa hugged the new man close, picking leaves out of his hair and murmuring to him softly. Whatever was going on, it seemed serious. “I don’t think they’re making this up, Akaashi,” he murmured, looking over at Kuro. “At least, I think they believe whatever this is. What exactly is it, Kuro?”

“Well, I guess the cat’s out of the bag,” Kuro said, shooting Konoha a glare when he snorted. “You two - we know you. Have known you a very long time. You remember the story I told you over dinner?”

“Dinner?” Akaashi asked, shifting.

Kenma ducked his head, trying to focus, arms curling tighter around the bag in his arms. “I remember.”

“It wasn’t just a story. I don’t know all the details, and it gets complicated, but - ugh. You and I, we grew up together. We’re - ugh, how do you even tell this?”

“Start from the beginning, maybe?” Kenma asked, fingers working at the paper in his hands. It all seemed very strange, and yet - and yet.

“You - you’re like me,” Kuro said.

Kenma shot him a look. “I’m like you?”

“I mean! Ugh, you’re a cat, but not like Yaku, or like Kai, or any of the others, you’re - look, it’d be easier if I just show you. Can I see my talisman?”

“Your what?”

“Talisman. The uh - the statue?”

“The one I had to buy?” Kenma asked, raising an eyebrow and then glancing over at Konoha.

“Yes - ugh, look, I just wanted - can we argue about all that later?”

Akaashi huffed, muttering, “I knew there was something off about that statue.”

Ignoring him, Kenma carefully unwrapped the cat and rubbed its back a moment before handing it over to Kuro.

“I like it, actually,” Kenma said. “So please don’t break it.”

Smiling at him, Kuro chuckled. “I won’t break it, kitten. No worries. Just - here, watch.”

Kuro wrapped his hands around the cat and closed his eyes. Suddenly things started to shift, go blurry - Kenma’s brain couldn’t process what he was seeing. It was like Kuro’s fingers were sinking into the porcelain. That made no sense. Then his clothes just emptied out, and all that was left was a black-haired doll and a very very living black cat.

Kenma stared.

“What in the - ok this is just too strange, we need to get out of here,” said Akaashi, starting to stand and trying to pull Kenma with him.

The cat just sat there, staring at Kenma with those golden eyes.

On one level he knew this was crazy. That it wasn’t real, couldn’t be real. That things like this didn’t happen to him.

On the other hand, it just felt so... normal.

Ducking his head he twisted out from under Akaashi’s arm and reached out toward the cat. Kuro. He held his breath as Kuro sniffed his finger, rubbing his head against his fingertips and then crawling towards him.

“Kenma, you don’t want to do that, he could be - he could have fleas, he could bite you -”

“He’s not hurting me, Keiji.”

“He’s probably the last person in the world who would ever hurt Kenma - well, at least on purpose,” Yaku murmured.

It was true, Kenma felt it in his bones. He didn’t understand what was going on here. In some ways, he felt completely out of his depth, but this? This made sense in ways that didn’t make sense.

He ran his fingers down the cat’s back, curling back and peering into his eyes. Kuro’s tail flicked as Kenma traced down to the base of his spine, nose twitching. Kenma laughed. “You don’t like that?” he asked, sliding hands back up and rubbing at the base of Kuro’s skull.”

“Ugh, could you not do that in public,” Konoha asked.

Surprised, Kenma looked up. The other man had averted his gaze. “What?”

“It’s just - bad memories.”

Yaku snorted. “He just had the misfortune to walk in on you once. At the beach, wasn’t it? In that little bungalow?”

“Don’t remind me.”

Kenma froze, color rushing to his cheeks as he parsed the words. “Walked in on me?”

“Both of you actually,” Yaku continued, shrugging. “You two aren’t as bad as some others I won’t mention -”

“Hey!” gasped Oikawa.

“- though evidently, they’ll rat themselves out anyways, but you two do have rather uh, interesting taste in some areas.”

Kuro was snuggling up to him, nuzzling his neck. Kenma couldn’t process. Interesting taste. They - oh - what - 

He looked over at Akaashi, who was staring at him with something akin to horror. 

“We need to get out of here,” Akaashi said.

“You don’t get to leave,” Konoha said. “Not until we figured this out.”

“Why, what are you going to turn into - I don’t know, some sort of snake or something and claim to be my long-lost boyfriend too?”

“Ugh, gross!”

Oikawa chuckled. “I bet Daishou would love to know someone thought you were a snake.”

Kuro tensed in Kenma’s lap, shooting Oikawa a dirty glare.

“Konoha here has very particular tastes,” said Yaku, “and they don’t include incest.”

“Ugh, no - and like you don’t have strange taste yourself, considering that -”

“Incest?” Akaashi asked, going pale. “But - I’m an only child, I’m sure, I -”

“Of course you are, that’s why you grew up to be so bad with people,” Konoha muttered. “Though before you were at least nice, not like - whatever this is.”

“He’s your cousin,” Okawa said.

“No,” said Akaashi. “No, no, no.”

“What, now you think it’s - you know what, forget this,” Konoha said. “Maybe this will jog your memory, you over-fluffed -”

Kenma gasped as the man folded in on himself in a mix of gray and tan, the shades unwrapping into a light brown owl that spread his wings and launched himself at Akaashi before swooping away.

“That -” Akaashi said, blinking, “That was a scops - Kenma -”

“Akaashi’s an owl?” Kenma asked, blinking and holding Kuro close.

“Yes -” Yaku started.

“No. No, this is impossible, this whole thing - Kenma we need to leave, please -”

“But -” Kenma started, looking up at Akaashi. He’d never seen Akaashi scared before - wait - a memory imposed itself of Akaashi, in the dark, with black marks on his face, fires lighting his skin, blood on his hands, tears -

“Please, Kenma. I don't have anyone else.”

Swallowing, Kenma nodded, petting Kuro one last time before pushing him to the side. “Sorry, but he’s right. We have to leave.”

“But!” Oikawa started.

“Let them go,” said Yaku. “It’ll be fine.”

Giving Yaku a grateful look Kenma stood, tugging Akaashi with him and walking towards the steps. He had a lot to think about. They both did, really - but strangely enough, Kenma didn’t feel frightened in the least being around them, not like Akaashi did.

He wasn't sure why. The only thing he knew was that being with Kuro just felt like home.


	4. The Rusalka and the Owl

He and Akaashi found a park and grabbed a couple of drinks before wandering in to find a secluded bench. 

“That was...” Akaashi started, looking down at his hands. 

“Intense?” asked Kenma.

“Among other things,” said Akaashi, frowning. “Do you think they put something in that drink they gave us? Maybe a hallucinogen?”

“Maybe,” Kenma said, tilting his head to the side.

“It’s the only thing that makes sense. Everyone was so strange, and it was like they were stalking us - they knew I liked owls, and the drink, well. It was probably all just subliminal suggestion, maybe they hypnotized us.”

That wasn’t it, and Kenma knew it. He was pretty sure Akaashi knew it too, but Akaashi couldn’t handle it.

It was like the opposite of how Kenma felt. He hadn’t ever thought he wanted anything like this in his life, but after watching Kuro change all he'd felt was a sense of wonder. It was amazing. A part of him wanted to rush right back and ask Kuro to tell him everything.

The story. The people who had given everything up to save the world - or something.

Were he and Akaashi two of those people?

He thought about the flashback, the pain on Akaashi’s face in his memory. A bomb, Kuro had said. A magic bomb.

It all made sense.

“I don’t want this,” Akaashi whispered. “I just - it’s too strange, Kenma, I wish I could just forget -”

“Don’t you think we’ve forgotten enough?” Kenma asked.

Akaashi stared at him. 

Biting his bottom lip, Kenma said, “I mean -”

“Don’t tell me you bought into it,” Akaashi said. “Don’t - you can’t, Kenma, you’re all I’ve got, please.”

He wasn’t used to seeing Akaashi this vulnerable, this broken. Normally Akaashi was the rational one, the one who protected him. He didn’t expect Akaashi to be the one that needed protecting.

He wanted to argue - point out that maybe they weren’t alone, maybe the weird distance they’d always felt from everyone else was because they didn’t actually fit. Akaashi was too worked up, though.

Maybe once he calmed down.

“Ok,” said Kenma, rubbing his back gently.

Shuddering under his touch Akaashi nodded. “Ok,” he repeated. “It’ll all be ok.”

Kenma watched as Akaashi pressed his fingers together, curling them around each other like he was trying to order and sort his life through hand motions alone. He'd never thought Akaashi would have panic attacks. He remembered how he'd felt the first time he'd gone to that shop - he'd probably been less coherent than Akaashi right now. 

Well, he'd calmed down and come around, hopefully, Akaashi would too. When he was ready.

Akaashi shivered, tilting his head to glance toward Kenma.“Do you think we could just go shopping or something? Maybe go to that restaurant by the river you talk about, or the Meguro sky garden?”

“Sure, Akaashi. We can do that.”

Slowly, breath by breath, Akaashi started to calm down. They watched the people walking by, kids chasing dogs chasing balls, couples in love, ducks flapping on the pond. It was all so normal.

Normal was good, Kenma supposed. He’d always felt normal, after all. Normal. Ordinary.

Except, he wasn’t, and he knew that now.

There were some stray cats sniffing around one of the trash cans, a small brown one and a larger gray one and then - ah, yes.

Shaking his head, Kenma felt his lips twitch. Kuro’s tail flicked in response, and he ducked behind a bench. Keeping his distance. That was nice.

But he was also keeping watch.

It warmed Kenma’s heart. He wanted to know more, know everything. 

Still, they needed to go.

“Are you ready?” he asked Akaashi.

“Yes. Just -”

“Excuse me,” said a woman. “Are you Akaashi? Akaashi Keiji?”

Kenma looked up, frowning. She was tall, with long red hair and a flashy shirt, though her hair seemed slightly damp. She was definitely not Japanese. Russian? He wasn’t sure, but he didn’t trust her.

“I am,” Akaashi said, voice frosty. “Exactly what business do you have with me?”

“Oh, wonderful,” she said, smile too wide. “We’ve been looking for you for forever - we're the ones who sent you that letter last month? Some of your research caught our eye. It's just serendipity to have you actually here and in Tokyo, so close! We were wondering if you would be interested in coming with us for that job we mentioned.”

“What?” Akaashi asked, looking angry now. “You - you must have been following me here. What sort of reputable place stalks someone for a job?”

Behind her, Kenma saw Kuro stalking toward them, followed by the other cats. One was scampering off down the path. Everything about this situation screamed danger.

“Oh, but you’re one of a kind, Akaashi,” the woman purred. “We’ve been working on a puzzle for a very very long time, and only your research can help us get to the truth. Now, why don’t you just leave your little friend here and come with me -”

“Why would I do that? Kozume and I have plans for the day, so I’d appreciate it if you leave -”

“Kozume?” she asked, looking at Kenma closely and gasping. 

It was everything he hated about getting people's attention - that feeling like their gaze was crawling over him, grasping, needing, wanting. It made him want to curl into himself and disappear.

"So this is where you've been, right here, all along," she said. “You’ve been so hard to track down, and here you are, hiding in plain sight. Nice dye job, by the way.”

“Akaashi,” Kenma muttered, tugging at him. “Akaashi I think we need to - ah!”

He was suddenly pulled back to the bench by something like ropes. Whatever it was curled around his chest, wrists, and shoulders. Looking down he saw dark green vines covered with shiny sap. It smelled acrid, made his eyes start to water.

“Kenma - what are you -”

“Sorry, but we really can’t take any chances with the two of you. Especially with this slippery little - gah!”

The woman turned, yelling as she tried to push a ferocious black cat off of her back. The people - why weren’t the people responding? Yelling? Kenma looked around, trying to wiggle out from the vines, but everyone looked frozen except the woman and the cats. Other creatures were running up the path as well, things dark and twisting that Kenma’s gaze slid off of. A chittering, insect-like thing had jumped up on Akaashi, freezing him with its gaze. Kenma wanted to push it off, save his friend, but the vines curled tighter around his wrists -

Until he heard a grunt behind him, and a hiss of pain.

Glancing back he saw Kai and a man with a short yellow mohawk. They were pounding away at a man with vines shooting out of his shirt where his arms should be. Kenma tugged, trying to free his arms again, shouting when he saw the insect-like thing on Akaashi pull back a stinger and plunge it into his friend’s neck. 

“No!” 

The vines threw him to the side and onto the grass. He rolled, scrambling up and trying to understand what he saw before him. Oikawa running toward them waving his hand and yelling. Kuro had fallen, lying motionless on the path. The woman had grabbed Akaashi and was carrying him down towards the shifting things while the man with vines sank into the ground like he’d never existed. 

How - what had happened - what was - Akaashi -

“Kenma,” Yaku said, kneeling beside him. “Kenma, are you ok? Are you injured?”

“Ok?” Kenma asked. How could he be ok, his best friend had just been taken by - what -

Yaku grabbed his hands, turning them over and looking at his wrists. “Oh, fuck,” he muttered. “Oikawa, we need -”

“I knew we shouldn’t’ve let them go,” Oikawa said, staring at the path. All of them - the woman, Akaashi, everyone - had disappeared. Kenma could hear the sounds from the park again, children laughing like nothing had happened.

What had happened?

“Bullshit,” Yaku muttered, tugging Kenma’s sleeves up. Kai had picked Kuro up, checking him over. “There’s no way we could’ve known they were this close. Hell, we didn’t even know about them.”

“They knew who Akaashi was,” Kenma muttered, feeling dizzy. His wrists were red, and his whole body hurt. “They knew - said they’d been looking for him -”

Cursing under his breath, Oikawa said, “Well, whatever happens, we need to get Ken-chan and Kuroo back to the store.”

“No - have to find Akaashi -” Kenma muttered, head rolling to the side. He felt sick.

“We will,” Yaku murmured, rubbing his back and frowning. “We will, but whatever that thing was, I think it poisoned you.”

“It was an abomination,” Oikawa said. “Tora, can you?”

“Of course,” the man with the mohawk said, kneeling down and putting hands under Kenma’s body before picking him up. “Hey, Kenma. Long time no see, buddy. I like the new hair, decided to be a delinquent like me, eh?”

Kenma frowned, head lolling against the man’s muscled chest. He wanted to reply, but it just felt like it would be so much effort. The man felt familiar though, comfortable, as did the short man with large eyes and dark hair who came up and quietly brushed fingers over Kenma’s arm. He looked over as Kai walked up, cradling Kuro in his arms. The cat was breathing, at least.

It wasn’t everyone. Somehow he knew it wasn’t everyone. Missing, people were missing, Akaashi was missing. He needed to find Akaashi -

Kai murmured something to Tora before sliding Kuro onto Kenma’s stomach. It hurt - then warmth was spreading through him, followed quickly by a darkness that sucked him down into unconsciousness and he was gone.

~~~~~ 

Kenma was warm, almost too warm. He smiled, curling up and pulling at the fuzzy blanket that had been draped over him. Something even fuzzier pressed against his stomach, rumbling softly.

Pressed.

Eyes opening wide Kenma took in his surroundings, almost panicking at their unfamiliarity. Wooden walls, exposed beams, shelves full of books and cat trinkets, a desk below a window that looked out on trees -

He had no idea where he was. And then there was the fact that there was something in the bed with him.

Throwing the covers off, he stared down at the ball of black fluff currently pressing himself against Kenma’s stomach. Oh. Well, that made sense. He wasn’t quite sure if he was ok with the fact that Kuro was sleeping with him, but - it was just a cat?

Though Kuro wasn’t just a cat.

“Why are you sleeping with me,” Kenma muttered, poking Kuro’s stomach. 

The cat opened one lazy eye and yawned, showing off sharp fangs. He was too adorable by far. 

Sighing, Kenma ruffled the longer fur on the top of Kuro’s head. “You know, this would be so much easier if you were just a cat. Then I wouldn’t have to worry about remembering that I’m actually talking to a person.”

If a cat could smirk, Kuro was definitely smirking, He pushed his head against Kenma’s fingers, purring loudly. Giving in to temptation Kenma ran his fingers through the cat’s fur, feeling every bump of his backbone. Kuro stretched, curling his paws so that the claws came out before he put them away.

“I hope you really tore up that redhead,” Kenma muttered, pressing a finger against the pad of one of Kuro’s forefeet. He noticed that there were bandages wrapped around his own wrists. They smelled very plant-like. Pondering this, Kenma decided that enough was enough.

“Are you going to stay a cat for a while?” Kenma asked, sitting up and ruffling Kuro’s ears. That in and of itself was strange; he’d never had a cat before and normally was wary of petting strange animals. With Kuro, it all came naturally. It still felt odd, like he was living in two spaces at once, but Kuro didn’t throw him off-balance. 

Well, not as a cat.

A sound at the window made him jump back against the bed, pulling the covers up as he stared at the shapes just beyond the glass. 

Crows. He’d just let himself be freaked out by crows.

Kuro snickered, crawling out from beneath the blanket and stalking over to a comfortable-looking armchair. He hopped up on it, nudging the doll that sat there. Kenma only had a moment to realize that he didn’t see any clothes before pulling the blanket up over his eyes.

A very human-sounding laugh came from the direction of the chair. “What are you hiding from now?”

“You’re naked,” Kenma said, keeping his eyes shut. “Aren’t you?”

“Uh,” Kuro said, “oh. Oh right, that would be a thing right now, wouldn’t it?”

The crow outside squawked a bit indignantly. 

Nodding, Kenma kept the blankets pulled up, looking over through the glass at the crow. It was smaller. He thought of the crows that had come to bother him at lunch and wondered if this crow was one of those.

Probably so.

There was some rustling of cloth and then Kuro said, “Ok, I’m decent now.”

Taking a chance Kenma looked his way. “I’m not sure anyone with that hair could be considered decent,” he muttered, internally pleased at the way Kuro’s jaw dropped.

“Excuse me! Not even back a day and you’re already in my bed and being mean about my hair!”

“This is your bed?” Kenma asked, cheeks heating up as he thought about the implications. He was still fully clothed, fortunately. Still, the idea of sharing a bed with someone - well, he had planned on sleeping in the same room as Akaashi, but that was different. Suddenly worry gripped his heart. “Akaashi.”

“We’ll find him,” Kuro said, face serious. “I’m sorry we weren’t able to keep him from being kidnapped. We didn’t expect any trouble.”

“Oh? And so you just happened to be the area?” Kenma asked, sliding out of the bed and onto his feet, and starting toward the window where the crow was tapping at the glass.

“Don’t be like that, kitten,” murmured Kuro, coming up behind him.

Kenma froze, looking behind him with raised eyebrows. “Kitten?” he asked.

Kuro went beet red and raised his hands as he backed off. “Uh, sorry. Old habits? Too much?”

“Yes,” Kenma said, scrunching his nose, “though at least now I know that it’s not some stranger you’re pining after when you act like that.”

“You thought - what?”

“Well, you did say I reminded you of someone else.”

“Someone, I said someone, right? So, that someone just happens to be yourself. Uh, except for the hair, that’s new.”

“Me having hair is new?” Kenma asked, reaching up to touch the two-tone locks.

“Ah no! The blond part! You used to just have black hair. Tora teased you about it all the time until you threatened to put a curse on him for real.”

“Why would -” Kenma started, trying to remember exactly why he’d dyed his hair. It did seem a bit out of character for him to do something that made him stand out. But then - “Wait, curse?”

Kuro laughed. “You wouldn’t actually curse him, of course. Well, maybe curse him to only find left socks or something.”

Interesting. Kenma felt like he was learning more and more about himself - or what he was supposedly able to do. As far as he could tell it wasn’t like he’d gained magical abilities overnight. Just new friends.

Well, old friends.

The crow at the window started tapping more insistently, and the one next to it fluffed its wings. 

“Can I let him in?” Kenma asked, lifting a hand to the latch.

“You’d better. Shrimpy was going nuts yesterday when we brought you back.”

Shrimpy, huh? 

The crow burst through the window as soon as he’d opened it. Kenma stepped back, raising his hands as the crow shifted mid-air and became a redheaded man who immediately engulfed Kenma in a tight hug.

“Kenma! I can’t believe you’re back! I can’t believe you’re ok, are you ok? We were so worried! Sorry we were across town or we would’ve saved you, you know, swooped in and gwah! Bamph! Driven off those nasty assholes and -”

A breath lodged itself in Kenma’s throat, and he froze, eyes going wide as he looked at Kuro for help. Who was this - why were they so close - what -

“Oi! Dumbass! Didn’t you listen to the part where he can’t remember any of us?” a man said. It was the other crow, who pulled the redhead away forcefully so that Kenma could breathe.

Immediately he escaped back to the bed, pulling a pillow between him and the other occupants of the room. Kuro huffed and looked away like he was hiding a laugh.

“Yeah, but I figured he’d remember me, right? You remember me, don’t you Kenma?”

There was so much hope and belief in the redhead’s shining eyes that Kenma hated to disappoint him. Still, some things couldn’t be helped. Kenma shrugged, curling further into the pillow.

Brown eyes opened wide and filled with heartbreak. “Aww, come on Kenma! You’re my best friend!”

“Oi!”

“Shut up, Bakageyama. You’re my best friend too, but Kenma! Come on! Anything?”

Biting his bottom lip, Kenma said, “You’re the guy who startled me in the bookstore the first day I was here?”

“Uh,” the redhead said, tilting his head to the side, “yeah?”

“And made him run into the bookshelf, so that cat fell on his head?” the other crow said. 

“Maybe?” said the redhead, rubbing the back of his head. “I didn’t mean to, though! I was just excited to see him!”

Kuro was smiling at them. “Well, no harm no foul, right? By the way Kenma, this is Hinata and Kageyama.”

“Yeah! But you can call me Shouyou. You always do! Just like I call you Kenma!”

Kenma wasn’t entirely convinced. Kuro was nodding though, eyes calm and watchful. 

Trust. Kenma trusted him.

It made him a little bit uncomfortable to know that he’d come to believe in this man’s judgment even though he barely knew him. What did it say that he believed Kuro knew more about him and his past than he did himself?

He pushed the question down for later because he had another more important thing on his mind. “We need to rescue Akaashi. Find those - those things, get him back from them, something.”

At that Kuro’s gaze turned pained. “We’re trying. I’m not sure what all is going on; you needed your rest last night and I was recovering a bit myself. I know Oikawa was reaching out, though, and I think Konoha was trying to talk Bokuto into coming down.”

“Bokuto?” Kenma said, trying to place him. They’d talked about him before, but had they ever said who he was?

“Oh,” Shouyou said. “I think he’s come down, but he’s still - well - you know.”

“Still?” Kenma asked.

Kuro shrugged, coming over and pulling Kenma to his feet. 

Reluctantly Kenma put the pillow back on the bed, following Kuro out the door and down an unfamiliar hallway. 

“Bokuto,” Kuro murmured, tilting his head to the side as they climbed down a set of stairs. “Ah, he took the disappearances pretty hard. Yours, of course, but Akaashi is - well, he took the loss of Akaashi worst of all. I mean, everyone expected that, but we didn’t expect Bokuto to blame himself. He’d been injured though, in the explosion before you all - well. He thinks the reason Akaashi left was his fault, that it was because he was too weak to be able to withstand the blast without suffering a major injury.”

“Blast?” Kenma asked, remembering the image of Akaashi in his memory again. The blood on his hands - had it been this mysterious Bokuto’s?

“Really, that’s Yaku’s tale to tell,” Kuro said, opening a wooden door at the base of the stairs. 

Kenma glanced around at the two following them, wondering if they would tell him more. It was all so confusing. He felt like he was trying to piece together his own story from the bits and pieces Kuro told him - more than anyone else, of course, but it was still frustrating.

When he stepped into the next room, he saw some familiar and unfamiliar faces gathered around what looked like a well-used dining room table. The whole set was wooden, and there were scrapes along the top of the backs of the chairs that puzzled Kenma for a moment until he saw two crows fly from behind him to land on the back of a chair that held a grey-haired man.

“Kenma, it’s so good to see you,” the man said, giving Kenma a warm smile. “I’m Sugawara. I’m assuming you don’t remember me, but I’m very glad to see you safe and sound. Or, well, mainly sound.”

Kenma nodded, glancing down at his wrists. “You like spicy things, right? They said you and Akaashi used to compete over the spiciest chai.”

“That’s right,” Sugawara said, eyes pleased a moment before they turned worried, and then determined. “We will get him back, I promise. We’ll get all of them back.”

A shadow of pain crossed over his face, and then he looked over at Mattsun. The man was staring into a mug, barely acknowledging anyone else.

Oikawa was in the back of the room talking on the phone with someone. Yaku was eating what looked like a plate of scrambled eggs. 

Suddenly Kenma’s stomach decided to growl, breaking the relative silence of the room.

“Hungry, kitten?” Kuro murmured, shooting him a smile. “I’ll get you some omurice if you want. Shouldn’t take long.”

Feeling a bit strange about someone knowing what he liked to eat, Kenma nodded. “Thank you,” he said.

Sugawara raised an eyebrow at that, but Kenma wasn’t sure he cared to find out why. Instead, he just took a seat next to Yaku. The man had seemed kind the day before. 

“Ah, Kuro said you could tell me something about an explosion?” Kenma asked him.

From Suga’s sudden intake of breath, Kenma assumed that probably wasn’t the best way to start the conversation. Yaku’s hands had stilled, fork resting on the plate in front of him.

“Hmm,” Yaku said, head falling. “Ah, well, I suppose it makes sense for me to be the one to tell the story since I’m the only one here who was there from the beginning. Well, me and Bokuto.”

Bokuto again.

A door on the far side of the room opened and Konoha stepped through, carrying a large owl. A large very familiar owl.

“Bo,” Kenma said, standing without really realizing it. “Er I mean - you’re Bokuto, aren’t you?”

The owl stared at him, flapping his wings and lifting off from Konoha’s arm to fly right towards Kenma. 

Throwing up an arm instinctively, Kenma gasped as the owl landed on his wrist. Talons - Akaashi had said that owls had talons that could crush and tear -

“Bokuto!” Kuro called from the direction of the kitchen.

Kenma couldn’t look anywhere but the bird in front of him, the bird that was -

The bird that was engulfing him in two warm fuzzy wings and leaning against his chest.

“Hey,” Kenma said, feeling utterly at a loss as the bird nuzzled against his neck. “Hey there. Yeah, hey.”

He was suddenly reminded of a line of a movie he’d once watched that claimed birds have no sphincter. Apart from that, he just knew that the owl’s feathers were soft and tickled his nose a bit as he rubbed his cheek against the bird’s head. He didn’t even know why he was, except that it seemed the thing to do.

The owl’s talons didn’t hurt at all. They were a bit rough, but Bokuto was being gentle, it seemed.

“Bokuto,” Kuro scolded, “You shouldn’t scare him like that.”

The owl turned and screeched.

“It did scare him,” Kuro said. “And no, he doesn’t remember you.”

Huffing, the owl hopped back off of Kenma’s arm and onto the table.

Kenma fell back into his seat, rubbing his arm and staring into the owl’s bright yellow eyes. 

The owl made some soft hissing noises at him, tilting its head to the side. 

“What’s he saying?” Kenma asked. He wanted to reach up and touch those feathers again, feel their softness.

At his words the owl appeared to deflate a bit, chirping softly and walking closer to him.

Giving into temptation Kenma brushed his fingers against the soft underbelly, sliding fingertips through their softness.

Glancing over at Kuro, he saw the man give him a wry smile. “He’s upset you don’t understand him,” Kuro said, walking close and rubbing Kenma’s shoulder while reaching out to the owl. “He thought when you called him Bo you had remembered him. That’s what you normally call him.”

“It just felt natural,” Kenma said, frowning softly as he ran fingertips over the brown and gray feathers. “I don’t - is he always an owl? Or is he like you?”

“And you,” Konoha said, sitting down across the table from him. “And me.”

“I turn into an owl?” Kenma asked, blinking as the owl nipped at his fingers.

“No,” Kuro said, smiling when Kenma looked up at him. “A cat like me, though I’m assuming you probably need your fetish for that. Unless you can sense it?”

“Sense it?” Kenma asked.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought,” said Kuro. “Oikawa might be able to find some sort of spell to find the link and follow it. That’s what we’re worried they’ll do with Akaashi.”

Kenma frowned, hand stilling. “Are they going to hurt him? More, I mean, I already saw some creature -”

Bokuto suddenly burst into sound and action, turning and fluffing his wings out before clacking his beak loudly at Kuro.

“Stop, what -” Kenma said, pressing against his chest and trying to keep Bokuto down.

Kuro stepped back, looking over at Konoha. “You didn’t tell him?” he asked, then glanced around at the room's other occupants. “No one told him?”

“Told him what?” asked Kenma.

“About Akaashi.”

Bokuto’s head was swiveling around, glaring at everyone. Kenma could feel Bokuto's heart racing where his fingers were pressed against the owl’s chest. Akaashi - had Akaashi and Bo been like - “Can you turn human so I can talk to you?” Kenma asked. “It would make things simpler.”

The head swiveled back towards him, staring. 

“What?” Kenma asked.

“Uh, he hasn’t been human in years,” Sugawara said.

“Basically not since you all left. He took the disappearances, well. Hard,” said Konoha.

Sympathy blossomed in Kenma’s heart. He didn’t have any clue how he would feel if he was Bokuto - or Kuro for that matter. He glanced up at the messy-haired man for one moment before looking back at the owl. “Still,” he said, “would you? I think we need your help, and I - I’d like to talk with you. Please.”

Bokuto looked at him, tilted his head to the side, then took off, flying out an open window in the ceiling.

“Oh,” Kenma said. His hand felt cold. 

Sighing, Kuro rubbed his back. “Sorry about that. Things have been difficult.”

Kenma nodded, curling in on himself a bit. He heard Kuro walk away, probably back to the kitchen.

“Why didn’t you tell him?” Sugawara asked, voice soft.

“You know how he’s been,” Konoha replied. “Ever since Akaashi abandoned us -”

“He didn’t abandon you!” Kenma said.

“How would you even know, you don’t remember anything,” Konoha replied.

“He’s right, though,” Oikawa said, walking back toward him. “And you know it very well. What Akaashi and the others did, they did for all of us.”

“How did you know that was the only option? Everything was in disarray! If you’d waited, instead of just going off on your own like some savior who had all the answers -”

“We didn’t know how much time we had! He’d already blown up once, if he -”

“He?” Kenma interrupted, tilting his head to the side.

Yaku sighed. “Lev. They’re talking about Lev. My - well - my boyfriend.”


	5. The Garden

“Your boyfriend was blown up by the bomb?” Kenma asked.

“Bomb?” Yaku asked, looking puzzled.

“Kuro - well, he hasn’t told me the whole story, but he mentioned something about a magical bomb.”

Raising an eyebrow, Yaku glanced toward the kitchen. “Huh,” he said. “Bomb. Well, I guess that’s accurate in a way, though that's - well anyway. Lev and his sister Alisa are spirits who came over from We thought they were more cat spirits like us - I don't think either one of them really knew their origins. Alisa and Kiyoko - she’s one of the crows - went back west at some point to try and find out what they were, while Lev stayed with us. Things were fine, until, well -”

“Until you kissed him,” Konoha said. 

“Oh please,” Yaku shot back. “Like anyone here has the right to lecture me about safe sex.”

Sugawara snorted. “That would be funny if the whole thing weren’t so damn -”

“Serious. Yeah,” Yaku murmured, looking down.

Brow furrowed, Kenma asked, “So you kissed him and he blew up on you?”

“No. Well, yeah, in a way,” Yaku said, smiling softly. “He was pretty excited. He was always excited, in so many ways.” His expression turned sad, and he stared down an intricate silver ring on his forefinger and rubbing it with his thumb.

“What happened?” Kenma prompted.

Shaking his head a bit, Yaku looked up. “Ah, well. It seemed to awaken some type of magic inside him. At first, it was just little things - sparks of energy, balls of light exploding when he got too hyped up, my hair standing on end when he touched me. Oikawa came to try and help him learn how to control it, but it was different than any of us had ever seen before, and it just kept growing. Then one night, I was in the kitchen of the old place with Bokuto and Iwaizumi and Lev came in all upset. Bokuto was joking with me - that’s all he was doing, I mean, it’s Bokuto, who could be jealous of Bokuto? Everyone knows how in love he is with Akaashi, and even if he was to look beyond, well.”

Everyone had turned to look at Kenma for some reason. Frowning, he curled against the back of the chair, thankful when Kuro came in and plopped a plate down in front of Kenma before sitting down in the chair beside him.

“What are you all talking about?” Kuro said.

“Talking about how Bokuto has an unhealthy attraction to cats,” Konoha said.

Huffing, Kuro said, “Of course he does, he’s my best friend. Wait, attraction?”

“He meant me,” Yaku said, sighing. “Me and the whole fiasco thing.”

“Oh,” Kuro said, reaching over and interlacing his fingers with Kenma like it was nothing.

“Lev thought Bokuto was flirting with you?” Kenma guessed, picking up a fork and wondering if he should pull his hand away from Kuro.

Yaku nodded. “He was coming up behind us, so Bokuto didn’t see him. Iwaizumi did, though. He looked worried, so I turned around to see what was the matter. Bokuto was in the middle of a joke. He was just patting my back, you know, just being friendly - but evidently Lev thought it was a threat of some sort because he ran up and pulled me to him and then - well -”

“Exploded,” Kuro said, looking down.

“Did Bokuto get hurt?” Kenma asked, squeezing Kuro’s hand. Of course Bokuto had gotten hurt. He knew that part, but -

“Well,” Konoha said, “as much as he can get hurt. Physically, I mean.”

Sugawara nodded. “He and Iwaizumi were knocked out. Fortunately, Iwaizumi was able to put up some sort of a barrier that spared him from the worst of the damage, and we were able to pull him out of the wreckage before he had any major injury.”

“It was touch and go for a little bit,” Oikawa said, leaning against the table. “Lev managed to knock himself out as well, and Yaku was pretty confused about everything that had happened. The building was basically a loss, but you were able to put the fires out pretty quickly.”

“I was?” Kenma asked, confused.

“Well, you and Akaashi,” said Kuro. “You doused the non-magical fires, and he was able to talk most of the magical ones into going out since Lev wasn’t around to contradict him.”

“Doused?”

Sugawara laughed softly. “They didn’t tell you anything, did they?”

“I guess not -”

A short man with light brown hair and an undercut burst into the room. “Ok, what the hell did you guys tell Bokuto? Because - Kenma? When did you get back? Oh, that explains it.”

“Do you not tell each other anything?” Oikawa asked.

Any answer was interrupted by the sight of a large man in an ill-fitting blue kimono bursting into the room. The man was big. Muscular. Crazy gray and white hair, wild yellow eyes and pure energy that was suddenly rushing around the table towards him. “I’m here, Kenma!” 

Kenma suddenly found himself in Kuro’s lap, with two strong arms wrapped around him.

“Bo!!” Kuro yelled.

“No fair! I want a hug,” the man said, pouting.

“You’re - ah -” Kuro said, motioning.

Eyes going wide, Kenma realized that the kimono did not exactly cover much of anything, at least not in its current state of disarray. “Oh,” he said, glancing away.

“Oh, oops,” Bokuto said, tugging at the fabric. “It’s not my fault! They threw out all my clothes or something. All I could find was this robe of Konoha’s.”

“That’s my robe?” Konoha asked.

“It was the handiest one around,” said a new man, coming in and plopping down next to Konoha. “Wasn’t like I was going to give him one of mine. You’re the one who boxed his stuff up, anyway.”

“Well it wasn’t like he was going to be using it,” Konoha said.

“You turned human for me,” said Kenma, ignoring the two men as they continued sniping at each other.

“Well yeah,” Bokuto said, kneeling down in front of him and looking up. “You asked me to.”

Kenma smiled, reaching down and patting Bokuto’s cheek. “I’m glad,” he said. Once again it was like the world was blurring, tiny bits and pieces of memory flowing through cracks in his mind. Bokuto on his back, head in Akaashi’s lap, singing a song. Bokuto leaning forward in front of a campfire telling scary stories. Bokuto and Kuro having a contest to see who could eat the most meat and being beaten by Akaashi. “Best friends. We were all best friends.”

"Yeah! We still are!" Bokuto said, smiling up at him. "You're my best Kenma -” 

“Kenma is not yours,” Kuro said, pulling him back into his lap. “I just got him back, you can’t have him.”

“Excuse me,” Kenma said, elbowing Kuro. “I’m not a possession. Let me go.”

Sighing, Kuro allowed Kenma to slip off his lap and into Bokuto's. Snuggling close, Kenma reveled in the bits and pieces of memory coming back to him, swimming like silver fish in his mind. They were enough for him to know the truth of all that the other’s had been telling him - well, about his past anyway, and about his relationship with Kuro and the others. The details were still fuzzy. 

“I missed you,” Bokuto murmured, nuzzling his hair.

“Yeah,” Kenma said, smiling then reaching up so Kuro could help pull him up. “You know, it’s funny; I never like anyone touching me. I’m fine with the two of you, though.”

“More fine with me, though,” Kuro said, preening a bit.

“Eh, no not really.”

“Kenma!” Kuro gasped.

“Hah!” said Bokuto. “Kenma likes me more.”

“I didn’t say that,” Kenma said, wanting to forestall any arguments. His gaze was drawn to the smaller of the two crows, who was looking decidedly droopy. Shouyou. There were edges of memories including him too, but they were fuzzy and slipped away. 

No, it wasn’t that he liked Bokuto more than Kuro or Shouyou. It was more that Kuro made him feel slightly uncomfortable. Not in a bad way, exactly.

It was more like -

He could lose himself in the other man’s eyes.

“So do you remember us?” the man next to Konoha said, flanked on his other side by the man with the undercut.

“No, sorry,” said Kenma. “I am starting to remember a few things, though.”

“Good!” Oikawa said. “That’s good! I think.”

“Oh,” said the man. “Well, I’m Sarukui and this is Komi.”  
Komi waved, giving Kenma a huge grin.

“Do you remember where the others are?” Sugawara asked, leaning forward with what seemed like deceptive calm.

“Others?” Kenma asked, trying to figure out what he meant. It didn’t really parse, but then again, his answer would probably be the same no matter who the man meant. “I don’t, I don’t think.”

“That’s alright,” Oikawa said. 

“Alright? You can't remember either, how are we supposed to find them?” Kuro said. 

Oikawa waved his hand. “Ah, I'll be able to remember soon.”

“What?” several people said in chorus, all heads swiveling to look at the man who suddenly wouldn’t look at any of them.

“Look,” Oikawa said, “It’s - it wouldn’t’ve done any good for me to remember until we could do something about it, right?”

“Right now, what I’m more interested in is where Akaashi is,” Kenma stated, words cutting through the silence that had followed Oikawa’s pronouncement.

“Akaashi,” Bokuto said, pain in his voice. “What happened to Akaashi? Did he come back for us? For - ah -”

“He doesn’t remember anything, Bo,” Kenma said, turning and placing a hand on his arm. “He’s like me, but worse? I guess.”

“Oh.” For a moment Bokuto seemed completely downtrodden, then he tilted his head to the side. “But you two knew each other?”

“Yeah, um, it’s like I’ve always known him? But I don’t remember - well - I don’t remember much, to be honest. We only met in person yesterday.”

“And you’re sure Akaashi really doesn’t remember?” Sugawara asked.

“What do you mean?” Kenma asked.

“Like, could he have been faking it? Figured out a way to -”

“Akaashi wouldn’t do that!” Bokuto protested. 

“He’s right,” Kuro said. “Besides, I saw him yesterday. He’s not faking it. He’s never been one to mess with memories.”

“True,” Sugawara said, eyeing Kenma speculatively. “Well, I suppose it’ll have to remain a mystery for now.”

“The thing we need to do -” Kenma said

“-is find Akaashi,” Oikawa said, frowning. “Unfortunately, we don’t have any idea where they might’ve taken him. They could be anywhere. But!”

“But?” Kenma said, eyeing him.

“But we do know where they’re going. We just have to get there first - and fix things for real this time.”

“Fix things?”

“Maybe I should finish my story,” said Yaku. “Or, well, we should - Oikawa’s the only one who really knows what happened in the end.”

“Well, yeah,” said Oikawa. “So, Yaku told you about Lev, right?”

“And you said I put out the fires -”

“We’ll get to that eventually. Do you want the details or just the bare bones?”

Kenma considered it. A part of him wanted to know, but more than anything he just wanted to figure out how to get Akaashi back safe and sound. “Uh -”

“The details, please,” Sugawara said, smiling at Oikawa. “You know, all those pesky little things you’ve failed to mention to us for the past few decades?”

Few decades? Kenma did a double take, looking around at everyone at the table. They didn’t look that old.

Oikawa made a face at Sugawara. “Fine, fine, I’ll tell you the details,” he said. “Ok, so basically - after the explosion, most everyone was busy trying to take care of the injured or keep Lev bound. Mattsun and Makki were the ones in charge of keeping Lev unconscious until we could figure out what had happened - they play with binding spells and time. Make things move at the speed of trees, is how they put it.”

Kenma nodded, not really sure what to make of that. It would probably become clear later.

“Meanwhile, Alisa and Kiyoko had come back,” Yaku said. “I’d sent them a message as soon as Lev’s power started to go haywire. I was hoping Alisa had figured something out about their heritage that would help us know what to do.”

“And she had, kinda,” Oikawa said. “Though she didn’t have all the answers. She had found another more powerful binding spell, though - but it required several anchors to keep things stable.”

“By anchors,” Kuro said, “he means you. And Akaashi, Makki, Kiyoko, and Alisa herself.”

Oh.

Oikawa nodded. “We didn’t have much time. Alisa had also found out that there were forces from the west who were interested in getting their hands on Lev because of his potential. Basically, he and Alisa are both a type of celestial lion spirit. In some cases, their gain immense power during their maturation process. Until they are able to master this power their instincts may overrule their rational thought process. In the past, some other spirits kidnapped had one of these cubs and used their power to wreck havoc on their enemies - and devastate the land.”

“Think Krakatoa,” Yaku said, looking down at his hands.

Sugawara nodded. “It’s the exact opposite of what we’re supposed to do.”

“What we’re supposed to do?” Kenma asked.

“Yeah, you know,” Kuro said, “keep the balance between order and chaos, mitigate disasters when they happen, try to keep the human species from killing itself and others?” 

Konoha snorted. “It’s not quite as shonen manga as he makes it sound.”

“That’s good,” Kenma said, crinkling his nose. “I never really liked shonen manga. Though it sounds a little like the plot of a video game.”

“It’s not bad, Kenma,” Bokuto said, patting his back. “It’s kinda fun, and we normally keep to ourselves anyway.”

Yaku nodded. “Most of the time we don’t even encounter spirits like the ones who took Akaashi. Then again, when everyone is themselves, not many spirits would challenge us, especially if we don’t go looking for trouble. This thing with Lev - it’s left us vulnerable.”

“Oh,” said Kenma, feeling a bit overwhelmed. 

Kuro squeezed his hand, then tapped Kenma's plate to remind him to eat.

Taking a bite, Kenma listened while Oikawa continued. 

“We’re going to fix that, though. Iwa-chan found a spell he thinks might work, and he’s coming back. He should be here by tonight.”

“Thinks?” Sugawara asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Probably,” Oikawa admitted, glancing to the side. “I mean, it’s all untested, but he’s been out looking at spells for the past few years for this so -”

“You mean he wasn’t just avoiding your oh-so-pleasant company?” Konoha asked, lips pressing together.

“No! Jerk,” said Oikawa, shooting him a look. “Finding a way to give Lev time to actually gain control was always part of the plan. I thought we’d find something here, but we didn’t, and with me being - well - limited right now, we figured it was best for him to travel around to see what he could find.”

“Without telling the rest of us?” asked Konoha. 

“Oh, like your group has been perfect at communication through all this!” Oikawa said, waving a hand at Bokuto.

“Hey,” Kenma said, frowning before he glanced at the owl. Bokuto didn't seem all that bothered by Oikawa though, he was too busy being lost in thought and tracing patterns on the tabletop. 

Kuro nodded. “Let’s focus, alright?”

“Fine,” said Oikawa, fidgeting a bit.

“Ok, so Iwaizumi will bring back the spell,” Sugawara said. “How does that get us any closer to figuring out where the others are? Since we know that’s what they’re going to try to use Akaashi to figure out. Judging from Kenma’s responses, it won’t be straightforward, but I wouldn’t put it past them to have someone on their team that will be able to figure it out.”

“Ah well that’s the thing,” Oikawa said. “Uh, as soon as Iwaizumi gets back I can figure out where they are.”

“How?” Konoha said. “Did you give him a road map or something?”

“No, hmm. Well, you know how I don’t remember where they are?”

“Right, because of that spell you cast so that you’d forget about it. You know, the one that also made it to where you can’t remember some of the basics you need for most of your spells.”

Frowning at Konoha, Oikawa said, “That was an unintended side effect.”

“I’d hope so,” said Komi.

“Anyways, owls,” replied Oikawa, waving his hand, “uh, one thing I may have forgotten to mention was that the spell can be reversed.”

There was a moment of silence at this, then Kuro said, “Forgotten?”

Oikawa shrugged. “Forgotten, omitted, whatever. But what it boils down to - and what is important for this moment - is that I can get the counterspell as soon as Iwaizumi gets back, so we’ll be fine.”

More pandemonium erupted around him at that, but Kenma was just about done with all of it. Spells, counterspells, spirits, magic - it was overwhelming. He stared down at his plate of half-finished food, ducking his head as a hand ruffled his hair.

“Too much for you, kitten?” Kuro asked. 

Kenma nodded.

“What if Bo and I took you out to the garden? Someone probably needs to tell Mattsun all of this anyway. It will cheer him up. I’m sure the rest of them can sort this out for now.”

“That sounds great,” Bokuto said, suddenly scooping Kenma up. “Hey guys, we’re going to go outside, see you later!”

There were a few protests at that, though Kenma was too shocked to be able to catalog much of anything.

“Fine, Bokuto,” Sugawara said, smiling gently at them. “Though I suggest you find some pants somewhere.”

“Oh yeah! Pants!”

Kuro snorted. “I’ll go grab something. Pretty sure I have a few of your clothes tucked away in the closet.”

Pushing at Bo’s chest, Kenma said, “I can walk, you know.”

Bokuto just gave him a smile and whisked him out the door.

~~~~~~~ 

Kenma finally convinced Bokuto to put him down when they got to the porch surrounding the garden.

Then he was too busy taking it all in to really mind the fact that Bokuto’s hands were fluttering around his shoulders like the owl was trying to reassure himself that Kenma was real.

The garden courtyard was larger than he expected, even after seeing it from the window above. There was a good-sized pool surrounded by plants. Walking along the pathway to it he crossed a wooden bridge, looking down into the water and smiling at the koi flitting around in the darkened depths. 

“These fish are friends, not food,” Bokuto said, nodding seriously.

Laughing, Kenma asked, “Oh really?”

“Yes! They’re children of some of Akaashi’s friends, so we have to take good care of them.”

“Oh,” Kenma said, watching as a black koi with red spots hid in the reeds. “What type of friends?”

“Dragons,” said Bokuto.

Dragons. Of course.

Blinking, Kenma looked up at the trees that canopied the pond.

“We also have to be careful with the trees, because they’re friends of Seijou. Well, at least the trees that aren’t actually Seijou, of course.”

“Seijou?”

“Oikawa’s group. Like that’s Mattsun,” Bokuto said, pointing to a large cypress tree, “and the one with tiny yellow flowers over there is Watari, and the spiky looking one is Kyoutani and the flowy one that’s intertwined with the spiky one is Yahaba. Kindaichi and Kunimi aren’t trees, of course, though if Kindaichi was a plant he would be a radish. Most of Seijou are Kodama, but not all of them.”

Kenma nodded, barely understanding what any of it meant. Still, he’d figure it out in time - or it would come back to him, like the memories of Bokuto, Kuro, and Akaashi. Tugging Bokuto’s hand he led him off the bridge and around towards Mattsun. “So this is the one we need to talk to?”

“Yes,” Bokuto said, smiling before walking up and patting the trunk. “Hey, buddy, we got some good news for you! Wanna come out and say hello?”

Kenma wasn’t sure what he’d expected. Maybe for the tree to suddenly pull up roots, or to transform the way Konoha had? Instead, it was a little more like what Kuro had done, in a way. Patches of the bark slowly grew more shadowed, giving the vague suggestion of a man. Then it was almost like there was an image on the trunk of the man Kenma had met yesterday. 

Then the image moved, and it was like Mattsun had been there all along, he just hadn’t seen him.

“Kenma,” Mattsun said, heavy eyebrows drooping. “I’m glad you’re alright. Sorry about Akaashi.”

“Thank you,” Kenma said.

“Glad to see you human again as well, Bokuto - though you know you always have a nest with me if you want it.”

Bokuto reached forward and clasped Mattsun’s hand, something passing between them that Kenma couldn’t comprehend. Sadness, perhaps. Shared loneliness? 

Decades. Sugawara had said they’d been gone decades.

Suddenly, Kenma’s chest hurt. He looked around for Kuro, breathing easier when he saw the man walking up the path.

“Hey hey,” Kuro said, smiling at him.

Kuro had been alone that long too, but it seemed like he’d taken it better than Mattsun and Bokuto. Kenma wondered what his secret was.

Later.

“You brought me pants?” Bokuto said. “Thanks, bro!”

“No problem, I think the world thanks me,” Kuro quipped, grinning widely.

Gasping, Bokuto said, “The world should be happy to see even an inch of this body!”

“Right, right, Bo, put your pants on,” Mattsun said, turning away with a faint smile on his face.

Kenma turned his back as well, letting Bokuto get dressed in peace. Looking over at Mattsun, he said, “I think we’re going to be able to go find the other’s soon.”

“Really?” Mattsun said, widening his eyes hopefully. “You remembered where they are?”

“Ah no,” Kenma said, glancing over at Kuro when the man put a hand on his back. “But Oikawa thinks he knows how to figure it out. We’re pretty sure that’s where the other people will try to take Akaashi, so we want to get there first.”

“That’s incredible,” Mattsun said, smile widening. He looked around the pond, then back at the sand garden behind them. “I wonder - will he like this space? Will it be good enough for him?”

“Relax, bro,” Kuro said, shooting him a smile. “I’m sure he’ll love it.”

“Yeah,” Mattsun said absently, tugging at his chin. “Oh, and I get to tell him about memes. Oh, he’ll love those - you think he’s still ok after all these years? I hope no one tried to cut him down.”

“He’ll be fine,” Bokuto said, patting him on the back. “They’ll all be fine. Oikawa said the spell was meant to keep them in stasis, right? Just like Lev?”

“Well, yeah, but -” Mattsun started, glancing at Kenma. 

Oh. Something had gone wrong, or Kenma wouldn’t be there.

“I’m sure it’ll be alright,” Kuro said, wrapping an arm around Kenma and pulling him close. “Kenma’s great except for some memory issues, and he’s starting to get some things back, so it’ll be fine.”

“Yeah, yeah, I hope so,” said Mattsun, looking worried. 

Wanting to distract him, Kenma pointed to some of the shoots around the base of the cypress. “Are those your children?” he asked.

“Eh? Ah! No, no. They’re just regular trees that are growing here to be imbued with spirit energy for a while. Kunimi and Kindaichi help cultivate the trees at different shrines, so they let their babies grow here. See, this one isn’t a cypress at all, it’s a Pagoda tree. And this one’s a Torreya.”

Mattsun’s whole demeanor changed as he talked about the trees, kneeling down and carefully tilting their branches up so Kenma could see the leaves. Smiling, Kenma knelt beside him, glancing back once to watch as Kuroo pulled Bokuto down to curl up at the base of Mattsun’s tree.

It was peaceful here. Insects were humming in the background, and there were dragonflies flitting through the reeds at the edge of the pond. It was easy to get Mattsun to talk about the plants there, one question leading to more answers and details than Kenma could ever remember. It felt good to calm Mattsun down, make him smile. Trees were important, Kenma remembered. Trees were dependent on water, and water was...

The memory slipped away again, like a droplet slipping off a leaf into the pond.

That was fine.

He’d remember later.


	6. The Willow Tree

Later found Kenma curled up in a chair in the bookstore, wrapped up in a blanket because he’d gotten cold. Well, first he’d gotten overheated outside, but then inside was too cold, so Kuro had found him a blanket.

And his phone. His phone was important.

Not only did his phone allow him to spend a few minutes getting out of his own head, it also reminded him of the pesky fact that he had a real life out there. A real life, with real responsibilities, like a job. He was wracked with a bit of anxiety over that - should he quit? Should he give notice? What if all this turned out to be -

Well, it seemed real enough, but a practical corner of his mind was still insisting it was all crazy, that he shouldn’t put all his eggs in one basket. Then there was the fact that he hadn’t been back to his apartment in over a day. Thank goodness he didn’t have any pets that needed to be watered, but there was milk in the fridge and bread out. Not that it would go bad in a day, of course. 

Oh, and he had no fresh clothes.

Of course, all of this was just distracting him from the thing he was really worried about.

“What’s wrong?” Kuro asked, bringing him a cup of tea. “You have that scrunched up look on your face like things are bothering you.”

“Of course I am. My best friend is missing and I can’t do anything - on top of finding out I'm apparently some sort of magical being whose lost his memories and has a long-lost... something. How are you so calm about all of this?” Kenma asked, frowning at Kuro before taking the tea. Not too hot. It smelled like cinnamon and apples and Kenma knew he’d like it even before he tasted it. It freaked him out just a little bit.

Sitting in the chair next to him, Kuro said, “I’m not. Well, not really. To be perfectly honest, I’m freaking out inside - just a little bit, at least. I’m worried about Akaashi, worried about Lev and the others.I’m worried about what’s going to happen when we find Akaashi if he doesn’t remember Bokuto. I’m worried about a lot of things.”

“You don’t seem like it,” Kenma said, taking a sip of the tea. It was, as expected, delicious - there were hints of orange under the apple and it wasn’t too sweet or too bitter.

Kuro shrugged. “I don’t want to freak you out. I’m also incredibly happy to have you back. To be honest, I’ve been a little worried that would make you anxious too, so I’m just trying to, uh. Be myself around you? The way I normally was. Am. Ugh.”

Kenma wasn’t sure if he should be offended or not. Did he really seem all that anxious? Granted, the fact that he was starting to tense up wasn’t exactly a good argument against that, but he didn’t like the idea of being managed, either. “Do you have good reason to think I’d freak out?” he finally asked. 

“Well,” Kuro said, “when you were first in the shop, um. You seemed a little upset.”

Obviously. Who wouldn’t be?

Normal people, probably.

Then again, according to what he’d been learning, he wasn’t a normal person at all.

“Do I get anxious? Er, well I mean, did I? Before?” he finally asked, rubbing his hand along his forearm.

Pursing his lips, Kuro said, “Well, maybe not like now? You’ve always been picky about who you spend your time with, and I guess a little aloof? It’s not surprising, really. I mean, we are cats.”

Cats. That was a whole other dimension to this thing. He wasn’t quite sure whether or not to believe it. “I’ve never been good with cats,” he finally said. 

“Cat’s tend to not like other cats,” Kuro said, shrugging. “And they know what we are, which makes them even more skittish. Skittisher? Skittishy?”

“More skittish, I think,” Kenma said, a tiny smile escaping onto his lips. 

“Skittishy kitties,” Kuro said, grinning at him. 

Something in him seemed to say that it would be far too much encouragement to actually smile at the stupid humor, but he couldn’t help it. The way Kuro’s eyes lit up in response was almost breathtaking. This man’s name might mean black, but his personality was warm and bright, like the sun.

No. Not the sun. That was -

Shouyou.

The stray thought made him smile, some fragment of memory about laying back in a field filled with blue butterflies while the other man ran through tall grass and wildflowers. Shouyou’s energy was explosive, sometimes exhausting - but so very bright. 

Kuro was warm like sunbaked clay, comforting and stable.

And Kenma - 

A sudden surge of self-doubt hit him. “You missed me,” he said, feeling like it was more a question than a statement.

“Every moment of every day,” said Kuro, looking at him sharply.

“But - you dealt with it better than Bokuto and Mattsun,” Kenma replied, tilting his head to the side and trying to distance himself from the strange emotion in his breast.

“I did,” Kuro said. “Well, sometimes. I mean, granted, I didn’t decide to leave everyone behind like Bokuto.”

There was hurt in those words, like spiderweb cracks in glass. There had been so much pain. Kenma felt an impulse to soothe Kuro’s hurt, somehow - by touch - but he had a backlash of what felt like jealousy. Had Bokuto’s withdrawal hurt more than his own absence?

It shouldn't matter, he wasn’t competing, but there was something -

Something missing besides just his memories. Some balancing force. He was different than the him inside his memories. He wasn’t himself, and he was all too aware of it.

Maybe he would do more harm than good, being this half-self, injured and -

Kuro had moved, picking him up. The shock of it made Kenma push at him, scowling. “What the hell was that for?”

“You had that look on your face, like when you get too deep inside yourself,” Kuro said, frowning at him. “I don’t want you to go anywhere.”

Kenma frowned, not sure if he should hate how easily Kuro read him or be thankful for it. 

“Besides,” Kuro continued, “you didn’t let me finish. Bo transformed because he knew his parliament would be taken care of. He knew Konoha would be a good leader. Mattsun - well, Mattsun and Makki were always inseparable, and he was faced with Oikawa’s presence and couldn’t get over his bitterness even though he knew it was irrational. Being a tree helped him calm down. I was different. I had responsibilities, I wouldn’t just -”

This time Kenma did reach out to him, feeling awkward as he squeezed the man’s shoulder. 

“You have to understand, Kenma, it wasn’t because I didn’t miss you. You’re my heart,” Kuro said. “You’re the heart of all of us. But I also knew you did what you did because of how important we all were to you, and I knew...”

“What?” Kenma asked, tilting his head to the side.

Frowning, Kuro looked to the side and laughed. “I wish you’d just remember.”

“I won’t,” said Kenma. “Or well, I won’t anytime soon. If you don’t want to tell me, though...”

This would be enough. More than enough. He’d deal with these random emotions and calm down. They shouldn’t be getting the best of him anyway.

“You loved me,” Kuro said.

“Yeah, I know,” Kenma said. “I remember that much.”

“No, I mean -” Kuro started, sighing as he slid his hand down Kenma’s arm, interlacing their fingers. “You told me that night. I should’ve realized something was up, then. I’ve replayed that moment over and over in my head, I don’t know how many times.”

“Me telling you I loved you?” Kenma asked. The words felt foreign in his mouth, too intimate. He scowled.

Kuro laughed. “There, that look. You hate saying it out loud. You always said you think people say it too much, that it dilutes the words. You expect us to know how you feel by your actions - and we do, even if some of us like hearing the words more than others.”

“Well, it is a little dramatic, isn’t it?”

“I suppose so,” said Kuro, a soft smile on his face. “But you told me that night that you’d love me forever, no matter what. Even if disaster struck. I thought you just meant what had happened with Lev earlier that night, that the circumstances had riled up even you - but the next day, you were gone. When Oikawa came back the next night and told everyone what had happened, well. I knew it was your own way of saying goodbye.”

“Oh,” Kenma said. “And that made you feel better?”

“It did. Maybe a little foolish too, like I should’ve realized, should’ve tried to stop you.”

“But if what everyone has said is right - wait. No,” Kenma said, remembering a fragment of a dream. “We had to do it. It was the only way.”

“That’s what Oikawa said,” replied Kuro. “But you didn’t talk with us, didn’t ask us - what if we’d been able to figure out something different?”

Kenma shrugged, caught between the strength of his remembered decision and the results he’d seen. “The danger was too great,” he said. “It was too big a risk.”

“Oikawa said that too. And I’ll have to admit, it didn’t go over too well. Iwaizumi shielded him from most of the anger - whatever you all did wore out Oikawa pretty bad himself - but it wasn’t exactly an easy homecoming. We talked about things for hours while he rested, tried to get him to tell us where you were. Sugawara was so mad he even got him dust drunk to try and make him tell.”

“It didn’t work?”

“He didn’t remember,” said Kuro. “He’d evidently cast that spell that erased his memories of your location so no one could find it. Suga thought it was just locked away in his mind somewhere, but he couldn’t find it anywhere. There was just a blank spot in his memories.”

“Suga can read minds?”

“Not exactly, but he can, uh. Interface? Is that the term? When people are in a certain state of mind.”

Kenma nodded, slightly bothered by this. “It seems invasive either way.”

“Oh, it was - but Oikawa forgave him, said he’d expected as much. Even thanked him for the refreshing experience.”

Shaking his head, Kenma said, “I hope Oikawa won’t try that on me.”

“Wouldn’t matter, he can’t do it on you anyhow. You aren’t human, after all.”

That unsettled Kenma more than he wanted to admit. He looked down at his hand as it lay entwined with Kuro’s, trying to imagine what it means not to be human. To be inhuman.

To be like Kuro.

That thought makes him breathe a bit easier. “I really want to get my memories back. I feel so - ugh - flawed.” Kenma said. “I hate all this not knowing, not being myself.”

“You will, kitten,” Kuro said, squeezing his hand. “But even if something happens, it won’t change the way I feel about you. Whatever happens, right? I’m just thankful to have you here, to have the chance to be a part of fixing things this time.”

Kenma nodded, leaning against Kuro and drawing comfort from his warmth. “We’ll figure it out,” Kenma said. “We have to get Akaashi back, and the others too.”

Kuro slid arms around him, and Kenma felt a soft pressure against the top of his head. A kiss. A memory of seeing them in a mirror like this flashed through his mind. Kuro took care of him.

“Always love me, huh?”

“Yep. Always.”

It was something. Kenma wasn’t sure if it was enough, but it was something.

~~~~~~~~

There was another strange man when Kenma made it down to the dining room later that evening. The man had spiky black hair and was sitting down next to Oikawa, leaning towards him though they weren’t touching.

“Iwaizumi,” Sugawara said, coming up behind Kenma. “One of Oikawa’s mates. He’s mainly human too, though gifted in his own way.”

“Oikawa is human?” Kenma asked, turning to look at Sugawara.

The gray-haired man smiled and nodded. “Yep! Though he’s studied magic long enough that the force has infused most of his body. His magic is all internal, soul-force and memorized spells and things. Iwaizumi comes from a culture that used tattoos to imbue the body with certain gifts. He’s like what you might call a holy warrior, I guess, with each tattoo linking him to a different spirit.”

“Sounds like something out of a manga,” Kenma said, shaking his head.

Sugawara laughed. “It probably is, or a book - Kuroo has been known to pick things from our experience to color his writing. Iwaizumi would probably object to that type of classification, though. He might even consider it disrespectful.”

“Oh,” said Kenma, glancing to the side. It was a little presumptuous of him. “I didn’t mean any harm by it.”

“We all come from different places,” Sugawara said, throwing an arm around his shoulder and leading him into the room. 

The physical touch felt odd, but not bad exactly. He decided to put up with it for a while - not long, in fact, since Shouyou was there bowling into him again, looking up with a grin. 

“Hey!” he said, blinking and backing off. “Oh, sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you.”

Huffing softly, Kenma ducked his head and smiled. “No, it’s alright,” he murmured. 

“Really?”

“Yeah,” Kenma said, nibbling his bottom lip. “Uh, did we ever spend an afternoon in a field of blue flowers? Not that I expect you to remember or anything, it’s probably insignificant, I may just be imagining -”

“Yes!” Shouyou yelled, reaching for Kenma’s hands and crouching down so he could look up into his face. “You remembered?”

“A little bit,” said Kenma, feeling warmth spread through his chest in response to the look Shouyou gave him. 

“I knew you couldn’t forget me for long,” Shouyou said, backing off and beaming. “I’ll have to tell Kageyama.”

“Later,” Sugawara chided. “For now, go make sure dinner is ready. I’m going to introduce Kenma to Iwaizumi.”

“Roger!” Shouyou said, waving at Kenma before turning to rush back into the kitchen.

Kenma watched him go. “He’s so...” 

“Energetic little brat, isn’t he? Ah, but life wouldn’t be the same without him. He and Kageyama keep Daichi on his toes if nothing else.”

“Daichi?” Kenma asked, running through all the people he’d met so far. It was impossible to really put names to every face, though.

“You haven’t met him,” said Sugawara. “He and Asahi were out camping up north. Well, they call it camping, but we all know it’s just another word for searching. He never gave up looking, even after all these years.”

“Kiyoko must be very important to him,” said Kenma, hoping he’d remembered correctly that the woman was a part of the crows.

“To all of us,” Sugawara said, a distant look in his eyes. “She was a member of Daichi and Asahi’s clutch. Like a sister, in a way, though they aren’t actually related.”

There were so many different relationships here he was pretty sure he’d never be able to figure them out. “You aren’t a part of their clutch?”

“Ah, no. I’m different - I can still take the form of a crow, but I’m an air spirit, a forest zephyr. The wind beneath his wings, Daichi says. Daichi is silly sometimes.”

He was smiling, though, so Kenma knew he probably didn’t really mind.

“Are your crows - are they the ones that were with me at lunch? Before, I mean. I noticed them hanging around.”

Sugawara nodded. “Hinata couldn’t stay away. He missed you almost as much as Kuroo and Bokuto, I think. Well, and the rest of your pack.”

Oh yeah, them. Tora, and Yaku - they were cats too - and there was the smaller man with big eyes, and Kai - was Kai a part of his pack?

Memories shifted away as soon as he got close. He was about as good with these things as he was with real cats.

Shaking his head, he walked toward Oikawa, sitting down in a chair near him. 

“Oikawa-san,” he said, nodding at him.

“Ken-chan!” Oikawa replied, brightening considerably. 

The man next to him examined Kenma, raising an eyebrow. “Interesting hair,” he finally said.

Kenma flushed. Why did everyone feel the need to comment on his hair?

Pushing that thought away, Kenma said, “Do you know how to find them now?”

“Oh,” Oikawa said, glancing away as Iwaizumi gave him a sharp look. “Ah, not quite. I was just catching up with Iwa-chan first -”

“I thought you didn’t know how to find them,” Iwaizumi said. “In fact, I was pretty certain about that.”

“Yeah, we all were,” Sugawara said, settling in next to Kenma.

“Well, that’s not entirely true,” Oikawa said, rubbing his fingers together. “I don’t remember where they are. And I didn’t exactly know how to find them even then, I just uh, never mentioned that I knew how to figure out how to find them?”

“How the hell is that any different, shittykawa?” Iwaizumi growled.

Shocked, Kenma looked at Oikawa. Instead of being hurt, however, the man just shrugged. “It was important! If we went there before we knew how to handle Lev’s situation, it wouldn't’ve helped anything.”

“But -” Sugawara started.

“No, Suga-chan,” Oikawa said, giving him a serious look. “I knew - and you all would’ve known too if you’d taken me seriously - that finding them would just put everyone at more risk. We saw yesterday that they’d take extreme measures for their goals. I guess we should just be thankful they put a temporal shield in place so that none of the humans noticed.”

Kenma shivered. 

Frowning Sugawara said, “I still think -”

“Enough,” said Iwaizumi, rubbing his forehead. “Just because I’ve been absent for a few months, that doesn’t mean I want to have my ears filled with the same arguments you two were caught in before I left. No matter what happened in the past, things are different now, right?”

“Yes,” said Oikawa, looking down at his hands.

“And so now you can find out how to find out how to find them?”

“Exactly, Iwa-chan!” Oikawa said.

“Ok, so how exactly do you plan to do this finding out about finding out?” Sugawara asked, glancing at Konoha as he came up to them.

“Oh, Iwa-chan has to take his shirt off.”

“What?” Iwaizumi asked, glaring at Oikawa.

Konoha snorted. “Ok, when I said you’d do anything to get Iwaizumi naked, I never imagined you’d take it this far.”

Gasping, Oikawa said, “Not for that! You’ll see. Now, Iwa-chan, are you willing? Not like anyone here hasn’t seen you half-naked before, anyway.”

Nose crinkling, Kenma said, “I haven’t.”

“Well, ok, those of us who have memories, anyways. As far as I’m concerned, you’re lucky, Ken-chan. To be able to experience this for the first time...”

“Enough!” Lips twisting, Iwaizumi lifted his hands to the buttons of his shirt, eyeing Oikawa. “Are you completely sure this is necessary?”

“Yes,” Oikawa said. “You can turn around, though. We just need to see your back. Well, I do. If you’re feeling shy, we can always go someplace private.”

“Please don’t,” Konoha said. “Your visits to someplace private always take about four hours.”

“So rude,” Oikawa said.

Shaking his head, Iwaizumi turned around, shrugging out of his shirt. He did, indeed, have a very nice back. It was covered with thick black lines all intertwined together with colored patches, creating shapes of stylized plants and animals. There was a bird with a red breast and a sharp yellow beak, a tall willow that almost covered his left side, a slinking - was that a tanuki? Kenma wasn’t sure. Every time he thought he saw something, another shape caught his eye, drawing him in deeper.

“These are very nice,” Kenma said.

“Thank you,” Iwaizumi said, glancing back at him with a small smile. 

“So what’s so amazing about his back? I mean, besides the obvious,” Sugawara said.

“This,” said Oikawa. 

Lifting a hand, he traced his fingers down the trunk of the willow tree. Kenma had to blink. It looked like his touch was actually moving the lines on Iwaizumi’s skin - like he was brushing aside the drooping branches, revealing another shape inside. Leaning forward, Kenma saw that it was a small gray cat sitting on a branch. The cat was drawn simply with little more than a long oblong body and round head with cat ears. Green eyes stared out from the head. A line encircled the cat, with five smaller circles spread out along the circle - gray, light blue, navy, green, and red.

“Is that Lev?” Kenma asked.

“Lev and all of you,” Oikawa said, lifting a finger and tracing around the circles. “Alisa, Kiyoko, you, Makki, and Akaashi.”

It was fascinating. Oikawa shot him a smile, then slid his finger around the circle. As he did so, the colors swirled, seeping into his fingertip and down his arm. When Oikawa pulled back, the willow tree looked just as it had before.

“Wow,” said Kenma.

“You know,” Konoha murmured, “When I accused you of only wanting Iwaizumi for his body, this wasn’t exactly what I meant.”

“Konoha!” Suga said, hitting him and then laughing. 

Oikawa laughed as well, leaning back in his chair and mopping his brow.

“What?” Iwaizumi said, turning around. “What was it?”

“Evidently our Tooru hid something in one of your tattoos,” Suga said, giving Oikawa a thoughtful look. “I’m assuming directions to where the others are?”

“Yes,” Oikawa said, nodding slowly as he looked straight at Kenma. Suddenly he frowned. “Though that still doesn’t explain why you and Akaashi are out. You shouldn’t -”

Turning his arm over he frowned, looking at something on his inner forearm.

“What?” Kenma asked, tilting his head to try and see.

“Oh. Interesting,” said Oikawa.

Iwaizumi turned and pulled at Oikawa’s arm. “Don’t just keep these things to yourself, shittykawa,” he muttered. “Explain - huh.”

Peering at Oikawa’s arm, Kenma saw almost the same image that had been on Iwaizumi's back, except that the band around the gray cat was somewhat deformed. There were cracks in the band near the dark blue and red beads. Both of the beads were broken as well, color seeping out of them to trail outside the circle.

“Well, the barrier is holding,” Oikawa said. “But it looks like you and Akaashi - at least a part of you was broken out. Maybe someone was trying to break the whole thing, but could only pry a part of you loose? It makes sense that if one of you was pulled out then the other would be as well since you act as each other's balance.”

“We do?” Kenma asked. It made sense, though - he and Akaashi had always complemented each other, providing something to the relationship that the other one lacked. Suddenly he felt a deep ache for his friend, worry rushing over him like ice water. A hand landed on his back, rubbing softly, and he looked over to see Sugawara giving him a sad smile.

“We’ll find him,” Sugawara said. “Find all of them.”

“Yes,” said Oikawa, “We will.”

There was a determination in his eyes that hadn’t been there before. He seemed more complete, somehow. It was reassuring to Kenma. He hated that circle that represented him, broken and spilling out, but in some ways, it represented something that he could get back.

That he would get back.

Himself.

“How,” Kenma said. It wasn’t a question. 

“It’s to the north - a pocket space,” Oikawa said. “That’s why no one’s ever been able to find it. It’s tucked away through a tunnel. You could look on either end of it and not see a thing, you have to actually go through it to get to the spot. We can drive there tonight if we’re ready.”

“I’m ready,” Kenma said.

“Me too,” Konoha said. “I think we all are.”

Oikawa nodded. "Alright -"

“Wait” said Iwaizumi. "First, let me tell you about this spell."


	7. The Elemental

Kenma didn’t want to wait. He frowned at Iwaizumi, wishing Bokuto or Kuro were there to help him convince the other man that they needed to go right now. He needed to get back to himself as soon as possible.

“Fine,” Sugawara said, sliding an arm around Kenma in a way that was finally annoying.

It was only annoying because he hated what it represented, though, he knew that. He had no patience, now that the way had been made clear to him.

Giving Kenma an understanding smile, Oikawa turned to Iwaizumi and said, “Alright, Iwa-chan. What’s this all about?”

“One of the people attuned to the circle will need to go in and actually talk Lev through his maturation,” Iwaizumi said. “While they’re in there, they’ll be vulnerable to his magic - you might be able to pull in some of the other guardians as well. Alisa might know more about what’s actually going on?”

“Hopefully,” Oikawa said. “Ok, we’ll go and I’ll go in there and talk to Lev.”

“You?” Konoha asked.

“Well of course, who else?”

Iwaizumi was frowning when Kenma looked up at him. 

Sugawara seemed to share his concern. “Oikawa,” he said, “you’re still just human, even if you are basically immortal like the rest of us now. Immortal isn’t the same as invulnerable.”

Oikawa scowled. “Are you saying you think I can’t do this?”

“You’ve done a shitty job of things so far,” Konoha said.

“That’s not entirely fair,” Kenma said. 

“Agreed,” said Iwaizumi, frowning at Konoha. “We’re sure he did the best he could, given the circumstances. And it wasn’t even his idea.”

“Are you sure?”

“It wasn’t,” Kenma said. “He just made it possible. All of us agreed, and we knew the risks.”

“You remember?” Sugawara asked.

Frowning, Kenma thought about how to answer that. “Bits and pieces,” he said. “But I remember how I felt when we were deciding.”

“Plus, did you ever know Kenma to just be a pushover?” Iwaizumi asked. “Or Akaashi?”

“Not normally,” Konoha answered, frowning at Kenma. “Though lately -”

“He’s just split, is all,” said Oikawa. 

Furrowing his brow, Kenma said, “I’m really that different?”

“Oh, don’t let them get to you,” Sugawara said. “Though it is going to be funny once you’re reintegrated. Kuroo’s going to be in for it, I bet.”

“In for it,” Kenma said, narrowing his eyes. “Why, has he been acting up?”

“Just taking advantage a little bit,” Oikawa said. “Ack! Not in a bad way, you’re just, well. Softer than normal.”

“Hmm.”

“Your cat is a bit of a romantic, and you don’t often indulge him this much - him or Bokuto. The way they’re just carrying you around -”

“It’s cute,” said Sugawara.

“It’s kinda disgusting,” said Konoha.

“Oh please, like you don’t ride around on Sarukui’s shoulder whenever you get the chance,” Oikawa teased.

“That’s different,” Konoha huffed. 

Kenma pondered what they’d said, looking at Iwaizumi. The man gave him a smile that felt reassuring, triggered echoes of older conversations shared, moments they'd talked about their respective partners. How many friends did he have here? It balanced out his worry, knowing so many people cared about him.

For the first time in his life, he had a home.

Well, not the first time - but the first time he could remember.

“Kenma should do it,” Sugawara said.

“What, kick Kuroo’s ass?” Konoha said, giving Kenma a sly smile.

“No,” said Sugawara. “Kenma’s the one who should go in and talk to Lev.”

Oh.

Oh wait, what -

Frowning, Oikawa said, “But -”

“No, he’s right,” said Iwaizumi. “Hopefully you’ll be reintegrated by then, but even if not - Lev trusts Kenma. Not only is he one of the only people - besides Yaku - that Lev would probably never desire to harm, he’s also the person who’s most invulnerable to whatever power Lev has.”

“Invulnerable?” Kenma asked. 

“I suppose it does make some sense,” said Oikawa, seeming reluctant to agree to any of this. "And yeah, you are a bit - ok ok, a lot - tougher than me physically. You’re an elemental spirit, after all.”

Kenma blinked. "Elemental spirit."

“Kinda like me?” said Sugawara. “But you’re purer in some ways. You and Kuroo shaped your powers so you could both be cats, though. But that’s why your talismans are clay cats - it’s a mixture of both of your elements.”

“Our elements?” asked Kenma.

“Water and earth,” Iwaizumi said. “You’re a water elemental.”

Kenma blinked. “Water.” Ah, so that’s why water felt so important. Another memory flashed into him - something old, unformed, of movement like breath, cradled by silt and sand, with the whispers of a thousand shores in his ears. There was power there, in his memory. It was gone when he reached for it now, but surely, hopefully -

It would be back. It was intrinsic to who he was, after all.

“Exactly,” said Sugawara. “You’re one of the oldest of all of us. Not consciously, but in essence.”

To a part of him, it made perfect sense. Another, more human part was low-key panicking at the entire mess and thinking it was crazy. He glanced around, wishing for Kuro’s presence, but for once the black cat was nowhere to be found.

He was strong enough to handle this himself, though. If what they said was true, he was very strong. Crazy as that felt.

“We’ll see,” Oikawa said. “I still say I’m the better choice since I actually know what’s going on - but we’ll see how it goes when we get there.”

“Tonight?” Kenma asked. “Can we go tonight?”

Iwaizumi looked at him a long moment, then nodded. “From what you’ve told me, tonight would be good. We should check with the others first, though.”

“And this time we all get to go,” said Konoha.

Sugawara nodded, eyes determined. “Definitely.”

“Yes,” Kenma said, looking up to meet Oikawa’s eyes. 

He still wasn’t sure what they’d find once they got there, but they’d deal with it.

One way or another.

~~~~~

It didn’t take long for Kenma to find Kuro after he left Oikawa and the others. Actually, the man was the first place he looked - though he wasn’t sure that was a good or a bad thing. Maybe Kuro was just that predictable.

He hadn’t exactly expected to find Kuro kneeling next to Bokuto in Kuro’s bedroom, though. Kenma had quietly opened the door and slid inside, feeling odd about knocking for some reason. He should have knocked. Was he intruding? At least they weren’t - well.

Involved.

No, Bokuto was just sitting in an armchair, head in his hands while Kuro knelt by him and gently rubbed his back, speaking to him in a low voice. The dark-haired man glanced over and gave Kenma a tiny smile as he entered, turning back to talk to Bokuto again. 

Kenma felt like he was intruding, and yet -

Really, this was the place he needed to be.

Feeling awkward, he moved to sit on the bed. Kuro or someone had made it up, so at least he didn’t feel even more strange to be sitting down amidst covers and pillows in disarray. The black cat statue was on the bedside table.

The same one that had started all this.

Kenma reached out and poked its nose, not expecting the soft exhalation from Kuro. Blinking, Kenma looked over at him, catching Kuro staring at him and wrinkling his nose. Lips twitching, Kenma pulled the cat into his arms. He wondered how much Kuro could feel through his talisman. 

It was a question for another day, most likely. Well, unless he learned everything there was to know in a few hours when he reintegrated. If he - no, he would.

It was an odd thought. All this regaining of memories - for a moment, he worried that it was overwriting who he really was. Then, of course, the Kenma before was real too, so what did that make him? Or did that even make sense anymore, was the he that he was before he’d come into the shop someone different than who he was now, since he’d gotten back some of the memories? Or -

It was going to give him a headache.

A shaky inhale of breath drew his attention away from himself and towards Bokuto.

“What’s wrong, Bo?” Kenma asked. 

“It’s Akaashi,” Kuro said.

Oh. Well, that made sense. Kenma hugged the ceramic cat to him, frowning as he tried to figure out what he should do. What he would do, if he were himself. Gah, it was all so confusing.

“He’s scared,” Bokuto said.

“Scared?” echoed Kenma. Well, scared made sense, but -

“Scared, and cold. He’s so cold, Kenma. And he’s just a shadow of himself.”

“What?” Kenma asked, looking from Bokuto to Kuro for an explanation. 

“They’re linked,” said Kuro, glancing back at him. “It’s not a strong link, and it’s not constant, but it lets them have some access to each other’s emotions.”

“Akaashi would singe my feathers if I did it too often,” Bokuto murmured. “He preferred to be able to tell me how he was feeling himself, and sometimes he’d even shield himself from me. Normally around birthdays and anniversaries in case I got any hint of his gifts but - this is the first time I’ve tried to feel for him since - since -”

“Since he woke up after the attack,” Kuro finished, rubbing his friend’s back. 

“Oh,” said Kenma.

“It was the first thing I did, as soon as I woke up. It was - there was nothing. It was like touching glass, cold glass. I nearly forgot how to breathe.”

Bokuto looked so terribly distraught, it made Kenma want to do anything he could to comfort him. Worry kept him right where he was, though, worry and uncertainty.

“You did keep breathing, though, right?” Kenma asked.

“Well, of course, I’m an air spirit. I don’t just stop. It probably wouldn't matter if I did, to tell you the truth.”

“But he did disappear on us,” said Kuro, frowning up at Bokuto.

“Sorry,” Bokuto said, giving him a weak smile. “I just - I couldn’t, I’m sorry.”

“I’ll have to admit,” Kuro said, “the thought of Bo without Akaashi just doesn’t make sense.”

“Any more than you without Kenma,” Bokuto said, shrugging. “Though you were stronger than I was.”

“We just handled things differently.”

“But you felt him now?” Kenma said, sitting up. “And he’s ok? Is he in pain?”

“Not - no,” said Bokuto. “Just scared, and lonely, and confused. I think he thinks he’s going crazy.”

“He would,” said Kenma, frowning down at the talisman in his arms. “He doesn’t understand any of this. I mean, I don’t really either, but at least I’ve had you guys to explain some things to me. The people that have him, I doubt they’d be so kind. At least, not honestly.”

That though worried Kenma too, but they could only do so much right now. “Do you know the direction he’s in?” Kenma asked.

“It doesn’t work like that, kitten,” Kuro said, standing up and walking to him. “At least, not for the two of them.”

“Oh,” said Kenma, starting as a person knocked on the door. 

“Yes?” asked Kuro, reaching out and placing a hand on Kenma’s shoulder as they turned toward the door.

“”Hey,” said Kai, opening the door. “Oikawa wanted to know if you were almost ready to go? He wanted to take off in the next half hour or so if that’s alright. Also wanted to let you know we’re pulling in some friends to help make sure everything goes smoothly.”

“Friends? Go?” asked Kuro, looking at Kenma.

“Oh yeah,” Kenma said, pursing his lips. “Sorry, I - you two just seemed involved, so I didn’t want to disturb you. Iwaizumi came back and Oikawa knows where Lev and the other’s are. They - we - want to go try to fix things tonight.”

He figured he could leave out the part about him possibly be the one to go into the spell and fix things. From the look on Kuro’s face, he could only take so much news at a time.

“Tonight?” Kuro asked, hand sliding around Kenma’s shoulders. “Ok, well, Kenma can stay here and -”

“No, Kuro. I need to go.”

There was a helpless look in Kuro’s eyes that soon faded into a sort of resignation. “Well alright, but we should all talk about this. Why didn’t you ask me to come down?”

“It just sort of happened,” Kenma said.

“I’m going to get the others, alright boss?” Kai asked. “Bokuto, Konoha said to tell you he had the owls in hand.”

“Great,” said Bokuto, standing and walking over to a mirror to fix his hair. “We’ll be ready in five minutes. Do you think we’ll need a coat or something?”

Kai closed the door behind him, and Kuro turned to look at Kenma. “So what is all this about?”

Shrugging, Kenma said, “Oikawa hid a reference in one of Iwaizumi’s tattoos. I don’t know how. He pulled it back into himself, and evidently, it returned all his memories of what happened, too.”

“So if you go back, you could get all your memories back too?” Bokuto asked, eyes lighting up. “And Akaashi too?”

“I hope so,” said Kenma.

Frowning, Kuro said, “But it could be dangerous. What if those people are back there? Couldn’t we just -”

“From what I’ve been told, I’m not exactly vulnerable, Kuro,” Kenma said, making a face at him. 

“But you are,” said Kuro. “I mean, what if they take your memories away again? Or capture you while you’re still in this state? Or -”

“Stop.” Kenma wondered if Kuro was always this protective. It was probably just because of his current situation. Even so, he didn’t like it. His his irritation was quickly replaced with a certain affection and understanding, though. Reaching up, he squeezed Kuro’s hand. “I’ll be fine, Kuro. You aren’t going to lose me again.”

“You can’t promise that,” Kuro said, staring down at him. “What if -”

“Kuro,” Kenma chided, wanting to gather the other man in his arms and comfort him. It was like all his hidden worries were coming to the surface, making him vulnerable.

Coming up behind Kuro, Bokuto said, “It’ll be ok, bro. We’ll all be together this time - and you know how strong Kenma is. How strong we all are when we’re working as a team.”

“I know, I just -”

“I know what you need,” Bokuto said, slapping Kuro on the back. He reached down into Kenma’s lap, handing the black cat to Kuro. “How about spending some time like this? You know it’ll make you feel better.”

Swallowing, Kuro took the talisman and looked down at Kenma. “Do you want -”

“I’ll hold you, Kuro,” Kenma said, reaching up. “It’ll be ok.”

“Plus, this way, we can all cuddle!” said Bokuto, beaming widely. “And then soon, we’ll have Akaashi back and it’ll be all four of us!”

Lips twitching, Kenma wondered if it would be as easy as Bokuto imagined.

Hopefully so.

“Come on,” said Kenma, giving Kuro a soft smile.

Huffing, Kuro glanced between the two of them. “This doesn’t mean I’m happy with all of this,” he said, rubbing his talisman. “But, since everyone evidently decided everything without me again, well.”

Kenma felt at least partly responsible for the hurt in Kuro’s voice and hated it. If he had his way, he wouldn’t ever hurt this man again - though he was realistic enough to know that probably wouldn’t happen.

Still, for now, he could sooth the hurt.

Holding his hands under the talisman, he caught the black cat as Kuro shifted into his other form. Bokuto caught the doll, though Kenma barely noticed as he gathered the living breathing cat into his lap. Hugging Kuro close, he laughed, blowing on the other’s ears. Kuro replied by licking at his chin and pawing his shoulders, rubbing his forehead against Kenma’s face.

“You two are always so cute,” Bokuto said, giving them a soft smile. “I can’t wait til I get to hold both you kitties in my lap.”

That was right, Kenma was supposed to be able to shift as well. He wondered -

Well, he supposed it was one of the things he’d find out once they got to Lev and the others. Hopefully.

“Ready?” he asked, smoothing his fingers through Kuro’s long dark fur.

“Ready,” Bokuto said, nodding. “Let’s go rescue Akaashi!”

~~~~

Of all the ways Kenma had imagined these people would travel, a car was not one of them.

Making a face as he stared at the gray sedan in front of him, Kenma said, “We’re traveling by car?”

“What did you expect, magic carpet?”

This was voiced by someone completely new - a man with slightly green hair and a face that reminded Kenma of a snake. Kuro had been low-key growling ever since they met.

“Not exactly,” Kenma said, glancing over where Bokuto was talking with Iwaizumi and another man who’d come with the new guy. “I just expected something less, ah. Mundane?” Maybe something more environmentally responsible?

“Not right now,” said the man. “Man, it’s weird seeing you with that hair. You always were the responsible one. Then again, considering the company you keep, that’s not too hard.”

Kuro hissed, and Kenma doubted the intelligence of having them ride with this - what was his name again -

“Daishou!” Bokuto said. “Kuguri said you’re letting us ride in your car?”

“Under protest, since he forgot to renew the registration on his,” Daishou said, glaring at the man - Kuguri? - that walked up next to Bokuto.

“I never drive,” said Kuguri. “Plus, you’re the one who lost the bet to Konoha last month.”

“That doesn’t mean I should have to ride with that,” Daishou said, pointing at Kuro.

Kenma was really really doubting whether they should ride together.

It looked like everyone else had already secured their own form of transport, though - Iwaizumi was getting into a car with Mattsun, Oikawa, and two new people that Kenma didn’t know. Sugawara and Daichi were turning into crows and getting into the back of some small car already filled to the brim with owls, driven by a woman with short blond hair and a rakish grin.

That just left the three of them and these two strangers.

Still - “Are you sure?” Kenma whispered, looking up at Bokuto.

Bokuto smiled down at him. “Totally sure,” he said. “They aren’t as unreliable as they look.”

“Hey!” Daishou said, walking around and opening the driver’s door. “I heard that. I’ll have you know I look perfectly reliable.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” said Bokuto, patting Kenma on the back. “It’ll be fine.”

Pulling Kuro close, Kenma nuzzled into his fur. Suddenly he was worried about more than just the drive. Worries about what they would find when they reached the other’s flooded his mind, and he found his breath coming faster and faster. 

Thick arms wrapped around him, tugging him into the car. “Come on, Kenma,” Bokuto murmured. “It’ll be fine. We’ll be fine. We’ll get Akaashi back, and it’ll be fine.”

“I hope you guys brought some clothes for the cat,” Daishou said, checking his mirrors as everyone piled in and buckled up. “Also, he’d better stay in the back!”

Kenma frowned, but Bokuto just laughed. 

“It’s fine,” Bokuto said. “They’re always like this.”

“It does get tiring,” Kuguri said, yawning and leaning against the passenger door.

It really, really did.

Kuro seemed to sense his anxiety, though, nuzzling his neck and licking at his ear.

“Stop that,” Kenma muttered, pulling back and bopping Kuro on the nose. That just lead to more licking at his fingers and nuzzling that successfully distracted him from at least some of his anxiety. The engine started, and they pulled out of the bookstore parking lot and merged into traffic, following Oikawa’s car.

This was it. Just a few hours on the road, and if all went well, they’d find the other’s and Kenma would get his memories back. Then there was the matter of dealing with Lev and rescuing Akaashi - but Bokuto was right. This time, they were doing this as a team. It would to better than it had the last time.

Hopefully, better would be good enough.


	8. The Tunnel

Kenma spent the first part of the trip half-dozing, leaning against Bokuto’s chest and snuggling with Kuro. It was the safest he’d ever felt, really - one large strong arm around him, a cat purring against his chest. There were parts of his mind still racing around, problems that loomed both ahead and behind him, but here, in this space, things were calm. 

Even the snakes up front were peaceful. Daishou had put on some nonfiction book on tape, something about the history of the formation of the earth. Kuguri was dozing, seat leaned back. Once in awhile, he’d make a soft comment on the book, to which Daishou would reply, sometimes pausing the book to expand upon a topic. There was an easy rhythm to their interactions that made Kenma smile, yawning before he nuzzled back into Bokuto’s chest.

Once they got outside the city he woke up a bit more. He’d never been outside Tokyo before - at least, not in his memory. Everything was dark, of course, but still, he could see more green, arching beyond the concrete retaining walls and metal fences to the side of the road. They were on a slow, twisty road, following a river. Kenma saw it a few times. A part of him thought he could even sense it, rushing opposite them as they traveled upstream. It was probably his imagination, but he liked to think that soon it would be reality. 

Bokuto had fallen asleep, snoring softly. Kuro echoed his snores with soft little purring wheezes. Smiling, Kenma carefully slid Kuro into Bokuto’s lap and slid out from under the man’s arm, meeting Daishou’s eyes briefly before he leaned over to look out the window.

“I’m glad you’re back,” the man said softly. “He needs you around.”

For a moment, Kenma thought he was imagining the words, as well. The statement seemed too painful to Daishou to be anything less than honesty, though.

Nodding, Kenma replied, “I think I need him too.”

That was all that was said between them, but it was enough. Kenma pressed his fingertips against the glass, looking up at the night sky. There were stars up there, stars and a sliver of moon. He suddenly felt like he preferred the moon to the sun. He wasn’t sure if it was memory or just that he’d heard something of Daishou’s book, but he suddenly imagined a moment of violent birth, of this swirling mass of hot molten rock erupting out of the midst of him and coalescing in the sky above, always calling to him. 

Shaking his head, Kenma glanced back at Kuro. It was an amusing thought, in a way; something brought out of them both and made wholly new - though, he wasn’t actually the ocean. He was just -

It was all just speculation at this point, nothing real. He really should wait until he got himself back together to go thinking about these things.

Maybe one day he and Kuro would talk about them together, and laugh at all his musings during this period. Perhaps Kuro would use them in his stories.

Satisfied, Kenma leaned back toward Bokuto and Kuro, reaching out to stroke the arm that had curled protectively around Kuro’s furry form. 

~~~

When Kenma woke from another nap, his stomach was hurting. Frowning, he asked, “How close are we?”

“Getting close,” Daishou said. “There’s a turnoff about a mile ahead, and then it’s another half mile to the tunnel itself.”

“We should pull off before then,” said Kenma, running his tongue against the roof of his mouth to get rid of a bad taste. “There’s -”

“What is it, Kenma?” Bokuto asked, frowning at him. 

“I’m not sure. Something just feels off.”

It was like slime was covering his skin, but when he rubbed his arms they were still smooth. Kuro crawled into his lap and peered up at him. 

“The river,” Kenma said.

“It looks like Oikawa is feeling something too,” said Daishou. “They’re pulling off.”

“Bo, can I have Kuro’s clothes?” Kenma asked, knowing that he'd need the man in human form soon.

"Sure, just, ah -" Bokuto said, turning to rummage in his backpack.

“Ugh, at least let me pull off first," Daishou said. "The last thing I need to see is that one naked in my backseat. At least I know the two of you aren’t - uh -”

“Yes?” Kenma asked, too on edge to be properly amused.

“Nothing. Nevermind. Here.”

They pulled off and the others got out, Bokuto handing a stack of clothes to Kenma before closing the back door. Daishou and Kuguri left as well, closing their doors and leaving Kenma alone with Kuro in the backseat. Bokuto was walking over to the car full of birds. It felt oddly quiet inside, the silence broken as Daishou opened the trunk. Kenma could hear a strange slithering sound from back there, but he wasn’t really sure he wanted to know what it was.

“Change back,” Kenma said. “I think we’ll need you in human form for a bit. I think - I’m worried the other’s might already be here.”

The others. The abominations. The ones who'd stolen Akaashi, who wanted to steal Lev away from them forever.

Closing his eyes, Kenma turned away as he heard the sound of shifting die down. When he turned around, Kuro was there, human again. Human and dressed.

“Where’s the talisman?” Kenma asked.

“Travel size this time,” Kuro said, lifting up a gold chain with a black cat charm at the end of it. Lifting the necklace he draped it around his own neck, tucking it under his shirt. “In case I need to shift. There’s no telling who or what’s out there, and I don’t plan to meet them with anything less than full capabilities.”

Kenma nodded, rubbing his arms. “My skin feels so strange. Like it’s polluted or something. It could just be my imagination -”

“No, I don’t think so,” Kuro said, a thoughtful look in his eyes. Opening the car door he got out, kneeling down to touch the ground. “I think you’re right. I think they’re here.”

“Who?” Daishou asked, coming around the back of the car. Glancing at him, Kenma was surprised to see several people standing behind him, all talking to Kuguri.

“Nice to see all of you,” Kuro said. “Glad to know we can call on the snakes when we need to.”

“Of course. We’re reputable people,” Daishou said, preening a bit.

“I’m not sure I’d go that far,” said Kuro, making a face and turning away.

“Well, I’ll just be pleased enough that I got at least one half-assed compliment out of your ugly face then,” Daishou sneered.

“Good because that’s all you’re -”

“Stop,” Kenma said, rubbing his temples. “I don’t know if I ever have patience with this, but right now - I’m glad you’re here too because I think we’re going to need you.”

Both of them turned to him, faces serious. Looking over, Kenma saw Iwaizumi helping Oikawa out of the car. Oikawa seemed dizzy. A young man with a poof of pale hair was holding his shoulder and talking to him softly, backed up by another blond with a strange haircut. Yahaba and Kyoutani. The names came to Kenma in a crash of memory that was gone as soon as it came, leaving the resonance of a sun-drenched room. No matter. He’d wrestle with his past later, right now he was worried about his future.

They all walked toward Oikawa’s car, joined up by some of the birds.

“Tanaka and Noya are going to go scout ahead,” said one of the crows, a man with short dark hair. “Good to see you back, Kenma. If what Suga said was right, I think they’ll be the best for figuring out what we’re up against. Their link back to Asahi should help us know what they see.”

“Good,” said Iwaizumi, frowning down at Oikawa.

“What’s wrong with him?” asked Kenma, moving forward and reaching up to press fingers against the man’s face.

“It’s the spell,” Oikawa said. “They’re trying to break it again.”

“Then we need to get there as soon as possible,” said Kuro. “Tora, you and Kai go on ahead on the ground. We’ll follow close behind.”

Blinking, Kenma turned. “How did you all get here?” he asked, staring at the other cats.

“They rode with us!” said Shouyou, bouncing over and smiling at Kenma. “In the floorboards!”

“Remind me not to let Saeko drive us again,” said Yaku, rubbing his shoulders.

“But why, Yaku? I thought it was fun!”

“You would, Inuoka,” said Yaku. “You ok, Shibayama?”

The man Yaku spoke to rubbed the side of his head. “I think so. Just trying to figure out if the ringing in my ears will ever go away.”

“Aww, come on!” said the blond woman, hitting him on the back. “I thought you loved my music! The crows do, Kageyama always sleeps like a baby on my trips.”

“Kageyama also -” Yaku started, sighing as the Saeko bent to peer in his face.

“Yes?”

“Nothing,” Yaku grumbled. He sent one longing look at the forest, reminding Kenma to focus back on the task at hand. 

“Alright. You guys get going, we’ll follow. Oikawa, will you be alright?” asked Kuro.

“I’ll be fine. You all just get there and clear things out for us, ok? Get Kenma to the barrier if you can.”

Nodding, they started off down the road toward the tunnel entrance. Trees rose all around them, blocking out the night sky.

“I can carry you if you want, kitten,” Bokuto said as they followed Kuro and the others.

“No, I’m fine,” said Kenma. It wasn’t that far, after all.

Still, it seemed like it was taking forever. Kenma kept expecting boogeymen to pop out around every turn. He kept remembering the vines that had shot out and trapped him. Ever sound in the bush made him wonder if he’d be attacked.

Strangely enough, though, there weren’t as many sounds as he expected. He could hear the river rushing in the distance, but that was about it. No animals in the underbrush. Perhaps they’d heard them coming and had cleared out. Maybe they were all asleep in their dens or were wise enough to avoid what was going on.

Kenma hoped that was all it was.

He looked around at the others with them. Another cat, the one with the big eyes - his name was close but still buried. Shouyou, Kageyama, a host of others - Shouyou gave him a big grin like this was exciting.

Exciting.

Kenma wasn’t sure what it was. His pulse was thrumming underneath his skin. Kuro glanced back, calm and strong, a leader. His leader, in a way -

His -

Words, images slid through his mind, some images that would make him blush under other circumstances except that all of the physical acts were dwarfed by the strength of the emotions behind him.

Love. The enormity of his love for this man broke through him, washing deep enough that he reached out and grasped his hand. There was surprise in Kuro’s eyes as he looked back again, a hopeful little smile that made Kenma love him even more. 

He barely even registered the sight of the tunnel mouth in front of them as they rounded that last curve, a dark cavern cut into the rock. They hadn’t run into anyone so far. Maybe they were all inside. Maybe they weren’t even there, it was all in their mind. For a moment Kenma was almost relieved, then he felt a sharp pain in his side.

A clang echoed out from the mouth of the cavern, like someone striking a discordant bell.

“Kenma?” Kuro asked.

“It’s fine - I think -”

The ground in front of the tunnel mouth rose up in front of them, rocks pulling together to form a huge misshapen creature on two legs. It roared.

A thousand other little gray creatures ran out from the mouth of the cavern, their cries echoing the behemoth in front of them. 

Bokuto grabbed Kenma, pulling him back just as Kuro raised his hands, eyes narrowing. 

“Well, Oikawa did say they were abominations,” he muttered, twisting his fingers.

The ground in front of the behemoth cracked open, swallowing masses of the tiny gray creatures. Bokuto put his hand on Kuro’s back and stones flew up into the air, swirling together in dust devils that gathered even more of the small enemies, crashing them against the wall of the mountain until all that was left was the behemoth. 

Enraged, it started to bang against the mouth of the tunnel, cracking the concrete. Huge chunks of stone started to fall from the ceiling down to the floor of the tunnel, and Kenma gasped in alarm. If the tunnel collapsed -

Kuro ran forward towards the behemoth, followed by shapes Kenma somehow recognized as Kai and Tora. He and Bokuto weren’t far behind, though Kenma’s heart stopped as Kuro leapt at the stone man. For a moment, all he could think about was a shattered porcelain cat figurine, with pieces scattered on the rocky ground. 

Instead, as the behemoth’s fist fell, Kuro raised his hand and yelled. The stone screamed, breaking apart at the point of impact, shards of stone falling into piles on the ground. As they drew close Kenma saw that even those piles were drawing back together as if to reform into the monstrosity they had once been.

“You need to go,” Kuro said, lifting his hands towards the mouth of the ceiling. 

“But -” Kenma said, glancing back. The tiny creatures from before were starting to climb back up out of the crack Kuro had made in the ground, hissing angrily at Tora and Kai. The two cats hissed at them, large paws swiping them back without any effort at all - but Kenma could see that a few had broken through, climbing up Kai’s fur and hanging from his ears. A few owls were swooping down and pulling them free before flying up so they could dash them on the stones below, but it was obvious this battle was far from over.

“Go,” Kuro said. “We’ll hold it here, make sure the others can come through. Don’t worry about us.”

Kenma did worry, though. He worried - but he also trusted Kuro to know what they were capable of. The last thing in the world he wanted was to be split apart from his beloved. 

He couldn’t even kiss him goodbye.

Still, inside, Kenma knew he had things to do. Giving a sharp nod, he turned to Bokuto. “Let’s go,” he said, glancing around. Some of the crows were with them. Shouyou gave him a fierce grin, following two large cats down the tunnel. It was dark. Kenma was surprised to note he could see perfectly fine, though all the colors were washed out.

Shouyou had feathers sprouting from his ears, and his fingers were tipped with talons. When Kenma looked up, he saw feathers in Bokuto’s hair as well. 

Again, he was caught in that strange place where the extraordinary seemed perfectly ordinary.

Sounds ahead of them quickly broke him out of that reverie, though. They were sounds of battle - yelling, screeching, and then that clang again, and the pain in his side. The cats started to run and all of them followed, eager to meet the other side. Kenma felt his heart racing in anticipation. Soon, soon, soon -

Then there was light, and the light resolved itself into an image. A forest clearing lit with a pale green glow. There were creatures engaged in combat in front of them - huge misshapen creatures with axes for hands swinging at crows that flew too fast for the eye to follow, huge snakes wrapping themselves around what looked like animated piles of leaves, and then the cats - Fukunaga and Yaku and Shibayama, and there was Inuoka, and somehow Kenma knew who they were without even thinking about it.

And, he knew something of their enemies.

Behind them all stood a huge bubble, glowing as it arched off from the ground. Kenma knew that space. There was a huge statue of a thin white cat before them. It was arching up on two legs, with one paw reached to touch the curve of the bubble. It was safely inside for now, but there was a gnarled brown and yellow man with a sledgehammer bigger than himself that seemed intent on attacking it. He struck, and there was that sound again, and the pain in Kenma’s side was so fierce it made him stumble. 

“Kenma!” Shouyou shouted, reaching back with Bokuto to catch him before he fell.

“I’m fine,” Kenma murmured, looking around. There was the woman with long red hair, standing back. She’d seen him. She was glaring at him like she wished her eyes alone could set him on fire.

A part of him, the art that had so very recently thought he was human, thought he should be afraid.

He wasn’t afraid.

When she lifted her hand and spoke, his own hand rose on instinct, squeezing into a fist as he pulled - on something, he didn’t even know what, just knew it was what he was supposed to do, and -

She screamed, clutching her head.

Water. He’s pulled water. It coated his hand, curling in his palm as he stared at it. 

“Kenma,” Bokuto said, a smile in his voice. “How did you - Ah!”

Looking up, Kenma saw exactly what had caught Bokuto’s attention. 

Akaashi.

He’d been hidden behind the woman, held by some tall thin man that looked like night come to life. He looked scared and angry and irritated all at once. Only Akaashi could look irritated at a time like this.

It made Kenma smile briefly, and he wasn’t surprised when Bokuto let go his hand, transforming into a humongous owl as he launched himself in Akaashi’s direction. The dark man snarled and pushed up, transforming into a shadow of a raptor, some mixture of bird and bat and reptile that spread leathery wings across the sky and screamed a challenge to the approaching owl.

Somehow, Kenma wasn’t worried about the outcome of that fight.

His attention was drawn back again to the man with the hammer. 

Why was he trying to hit that cat? That statue didn’t matter, he wasn’t - ah, there.

There, in the shadows, under the branches of a bush that could barely be seen among the grey-green smoke on the other side of the bubble, he saw it. A small white porcelain cat with eyes that glinted gold, paw lifted to rest on a small bone comb that had been stuck in the ground. And between the teeth of the comb Kenma saw a silver thread - no, hair.

“Shouyou,” Kenma murmured. “Cover me, then go help get Akaashi clear, ok?”

“Got it,” Shouyou said, giving him that rakish grin again.

Kenma took a breath and started forward. They danced around the combatants, ducking under blows of opponents who were quickly distracted by others that followed them. Cats. Owls, some changing into human form, some with weapons that flashed in the muted light. Kenma saw all of this out of the corner of his eye but his main attention was forward, ever forward, toward the cat with its glowing eyes that no one else saw.

The redhead was crouched on the forest floor, hair dried up in frazzled curls. She reached for them but she was too slow. Kenma spared her barely a glance as they passed by - her skin was lined, curling in on itself, eyes sinking.

“Kenma!” Akaashi yelled out, voice full of fear and the echoes of power Kenma half-remembered. 

For a brief instant Kenma was torn, wanted to go to him. Instead, he pushed Shouyou towards his friend, looking over and opening his mouth like he could whisper words that would reach him in the cacophony that surrounded him. 

“I’ll bring you back,” Kenma muttered. “Bring all of us back.”

Then he was looking forward again, hand reaching out to the surface of a bubble that rang like a glass bell at his touch.

All the sound around him vanished.

Kenma blinked, looking around. Grey mist rolled in front of him, sliding through the wet branches of bushes and trees. He couldn’t see anything past a meter or two - and behind him -

He turned and looked, taking in the scene. People caught in combat. Bokuto’s talons ripping through the wing of his jet-black opponent. Hinata reaching out toward Akaashi, whose wide-eyed look seemed to say that he didn’t consider the redhead a welcome rescuer. Kuro at the mouth of the tunnel, reaching out toward Kenma -

But he couldn’t see him. None of them could see him, he somehow knew.

They were all frozen in time like some mural of elemental rage spread out before him. Funny, he’d always thought that it was the people on the inside of the bubble whose time had stopped.

But then again, time was a funny thing - and he only had so much of it.

The porcelain cat was gone. In its place was just the outline of a cat, made up of sugar-spun sand. The ears were already starting to crumble in on themselves. Soon, he knew, the comb would be released, and then -

And then all the chaos outside would spill in.

Turning, Kenma started to run.


	9. The Clearing

There were trees in his way, trees and brush. He couldn’t see them any easier than he had at the edge of the bubble, but that was alright. The mist - he was aware of all of it, every droplet that hung suspended in the air. It was like he knew where to duck, how to weave. A couple of times he almost got tripped up by roots rising from the ground beneath him, but even then, he had more balance and agility than he could ever remember having.

Part cat, he supposed.

He could feel it in his bones.

The talisman had been transformed. Probably when he came through the edges of the bubble, he wasn’t sure. He didn’t have any conscious memory of it, but he was now wearing a necklace with a white cat charm, the mirror image of Kuro’s. A part of him was still amazed by all of this, but the rest of him thought it was normal. The ordinary extraordinary. He felt memories hovering in the back of his mind like a tsunami ready to crash down, knew that they would flood into him, wash away all his sense of the present with an avalanche of the past.

He didn’t have time for that right now.

Instead, he just tried to pull on the only memories that mattered at this moment: Lev.

Surprise, annoyance, fondness, begrudging admiration - memories of Lev as a child, showing up on their shore with his sister, riding the waves in half a barrel. The earnestness and ambition in Lev’s eyes as he vowed to become the best. Lev climbing a mountain with his bare hands just to try and impress Yaku, being captured by eagles and making friends with one of their chicks. Lev helping Yachi take care of an injured rabbit. Lev driving Yaku nuts with every boast, every persistent proposal. Yaku watching Lev with fondness when he thought no one was looking.

Ah, and of course, there was how Lev had acted with him. Kenma had been afraid of a crush at first before he’d realized how head over heels the tall boy was with Yaku. From there on out, it was mainly amusement instead of concern. 

Lev’s crush had totally blindsided Yaku. At first, he’d thought that the boy was just teasing him or playing some sort of game. Kenma smiled, remembering how bristly Yaku had been, how many tests he’d put Lev through before finally realizing that no, he wasn’t just trying to make fun of him. It had been terribly sweet to watch Yaku fall bit by bit, won over by Lev’s insistent innocence. Kuro had teased Yaku about it incessantly, of course - enough that Yaku had enlisted Kenma’s help at getting back at the bedheaded man.

All things considered, everyone had thought it was the perfect match - until the first kiss.

Ahead of Kenma, the mist cleared up, revealing a large circular clearing in the middle of the woods. The floor of the clearing was all dirt, worn away in a half-donut shape, curving away from Kenma’s feet and then back up again at a point in the center. There was a man in the clearing walking circles around the bottom of the curve like his feet had worn all the dirt into dust.

Considering how time passed here, it was possible that was exactly what had happened, because the man was Lev.

He was holding a glowing red ball in his hands, twisting it around and around as he muttered to himself. His hair hadn’t grown. His green eyes were fixed on the ball, and he didn’t even look up as Kenma slid down the curve to meet the path he was walking.

“Lev,” Kenma said, trying to get his attention.

No response.

Kenma frowned, tried walking up to him, even subtly jostling him with an elbow. This wasn’t good. If he couldn’t get Lev free -

Well, if he was locked in this fugue state, then the others couldn’t get to him either, but there was no telling what happened when the barrier fell. Worried, Kenma tried calling for him again, swallowing and gripping his elbow. Annoyingly enough, all that did was force him to either let go or let Lev carry him along. Damn, but Lev was strong.

It annoyed Kenma enough that finally just ended up knocking the ball out of Lev’s hands.

That stopped him.

“Why did you do that?” Lev asked, looking around. “You can’t do that, where’d it go? It’s not supposed to touch the ground! If it touches the ground, I’ll get in trouble!”

“Lev?” Kenma asked, worried.

Lev still didn’t seem to see him. He was looking around, dropping to hands and knees now, trying to find the ball. Frowning, Kenma walked over to the crimson sphere and picked it up, going over to Lev.

“You found it!” he exclaimed, reaching for it. “Give it back, I need to - I need to -”

“You need to what, Lev?” asked Kenma, hesitant to give the ball back.

Lev probably could’ve snatched it out of his hands, but he seemed hesitant, licking his lips and looking around. Finally, he pointed towards the center of the clearing. “There,” he said. “It’s supposed to go there. I’ve tried, tried so many times, but no matter how hard I try it just won’t stay! I don’t know how -”

“Maybe I can help you,” said Kenma.

He had no idea what was going on. It had to be symbolic, that much was obvious, but of what?

Lev turned and walked over to the point in the center of the clearing, patting his hands against the curved edges. “It’s supposed to go here, but look - can I see it?”

Nodding, Kenma handed the ball over to him, watching as Lev tried to balance the ball on the point. For the briefest of seconds, it seemed like he had it. Barely breathing, Lev pulled his hands away, crying out in despair as the ball rolled away from him and down into the rut on the other side of the clearing. Lev scrambled up, chasing after it, though he seemed no more able to see the thing than he had before.

Was this what they’d condemned him to when they cast the spell? This hell - this eternity of trying to perform an impossible task -

No.

No, that couldn’t be it. That was what it looked like now, sure, but there had to be more to it than this.

Closing his eyes, Kenma took in a breath, trying to feel the space around them. Some of it was what had been there before, a segment of forest frozen in time. He could sense the muted life forces of plants, animals, and insects, all held in stasis in this place. And this clearing -

A test. This was a test - but it was a test gone horribly wrong. 

It was a test of maturity and perseverance, a test of self-control. He grasped the edges of it, remembered words that Alisa had spoken describing the intent of the spell. The test was shaped by the mind of the student, though, and therein lay the problem.

“A teacher,” Kenma muttered. “You were supposed to have a teacher.”

Someone who could keep Lev balanced, refocus him on what needed to happen. As it was, the whole scenario had been shaped by his guilt. The ball - maybe the ball was his power? But it wasn’t supposed to be outside him like that. He wasn’t supposed to be so scared.

Guilt ate away at Kenma’s stomach. If only they’d brought someone else along, or if Oikawa had become a part of the spell, instructing Lev -

But they hadn’t. He hadn’t. It was what it was, and they weren’t timewalkers to change what had happened before. In fact, time was very much of the essence.

Running over to the ball, Kenma picked it up. “It’s here, Lev,” he said, moving to his friend and pushing the ball into his hands. 

“Oh good,” Lev said, green eyes glazed over as he looked down. “I thought I’d lost it. I thought I lost everything.”

“Do you know who I am?” Kenma asked.

In the distance, he heard the faintest crash of glass, and a weird deep rumble came from overhead. The bubble - not broken, not collapsed, but definitely weak.

“Lev,” Kenma said, tugging at the ball to get his attention.

“Hmm?”

“Come on, do you know who I am?”

“What?”

“Kenma. I’m Kenma, you big, tall, dumb -”

This was getting him nowhere. Scowling, Kenma thought of the games he played. This was like a major boss battle, except not the type you fought through - it was a puzzle. How to beat the impossible game? Well.

“Why does the ball keep falling?” Kenma asked.

“I can’t get it to balance!” Lev said. “I can’t, I’ll never be able to -”

“Shut up. That’ not the Lev I know. The Lev I know is always boasting about how good he is, how he’ll be the best. You’re always trying to get everyone to recognize you. It’s annoying as hell.”

“I can’t, I can’t, I fail -”

“So what?” Kenma said. “You can’t just give up! I don’t care if you’ve done it a thousand - a million times! Gah, you’re even more inadequate than - but you’re also more talented than so many people. I could never do what you do, well, some of it at least.” 

That seemed to shock the other man. “But - but you - you’re -” Lev said, eyes starting to focus on Kenma for the first time.

“Who, Lev? I’m who?”

“You’re amazing!” Lev blurted out.

Crinkling up his nose, Kenma tried to put aside feelings of irritation. After all, Lev always irritated him, maybe it was a good sign. “Yeah, well - ugh.” Talking didn’t seem to be working, at least not as fast as he’d hoped. Perhaps some experimentation was in order. “Come here.”

He started to walk towards the center, glancing back in annoyance when he saw that Lev had started to walk the circular path again. Sighing, he walked back to him and tugged at the ball, leading the quietly-protesting man back over to the center.

“But - but I can’t, you saw -”

“Show me again,” Kenma said, this time kneeling opposite Lev and holding out his hands so that he could catch the ball if it started to slip away again. 

Lev frowned, but knelt as well, holding his breath as he placed the ball on the tiny point. There was the problem right there - how could you get a ball of that size to balance on something so small? It was a less than one percent chance of success. Kenma frowned as the ball trembled back and forth in Lev’s hands, finally stabilizing before Lev started to pull his hands away.

There.

It was right there - he saw it waver, shift -

Kenma caught the ball as it started to roll away from Lev, pushing it back in the other man’s hands. 

“There, you see? I failed. I’ve tried this too many times, but I just can’t -”

“Why?” Kenma asked.

There was just something about this that seemed off.

“What?”

“Why do you have to balance the ball on the point?”

Start with your basic assumptions and deconstruct them. Go beyond the obvious. There was a ball, there was a point, but if the ball shifted even if Lev had it perfectly balanced -

They were back to the impossible task again, and Kenma refused to believe in impossible tasks. He just believed in things that they hadn’t figured out yet.

“I - it’s - isn’t it obvious?”

“What is the ball?” Kenma asked, reaching out to run his fingers over the point in front of him. It was real - real and sharp, not just something that could be made by erosion. It was definitely a part of the test, but what was its purpose?

“The ball is bad,” Lev said. “Bad, because it hurts people.”

“Your power,” Kenma muttered. That had to be it.

Lev shrugged, then pushed the ball towards Kenma. “Can you take it? I don’t want it. I don’t want it to be mine.”

“But it is yours, Lev,” Kenma said. He actually had no idea if Lev could legitimately reject his power or not. His suspicion was that the results would not be good if he did. “It’s yours, you need to own it.”

“But I don’t want to hurt people,” muttered Lev. “I didn’t mean to kill - I -”

“Lev, Lev,” Kenma murmured, feeling awkward as all hell as he tried to comfort the other man. “You didn’t kill anyone, I promise.”

“But - but I remember - their bodies - just lying there, and - I didn’t mean to, I tried to stop it, I -”

“They’re fine, Lev. I promise. I saw both of them.”

“They are?”

Kenma nodded. He wasn’t completely sure that Bokuto was alright mentally, but he had a feeling that had more to do with Akaashi’s absence than anything else. And Iwaizumi - oh, there was another waterfall of memories waiting to cascade down over his head, but he couldn’t let that happen yet. So many emotions he had for these people. Years, decades, centuries of relationships -

But it would take too much time to go through them all now. Right now, Lev was his only priority.

“Bokuto is fine. He’s actually just a little bit away from here, maybe we can see him in a little while. You remember Bokuto?”

“Bokuto,” Lev said, pursing his lips and pressing his fingers against the ball. “Owl.”

“Yes. And Iwaizumi is here too, with Oikawa - we’re all here, Lev. We’re all here for you.”

Well, and for the others as well. Kenma imagined there were probably a few selfish souls out there who weren’t fully committed to getting Lev back - but in the end, Lev was theirs, troublesome or not.

Oh, and there was another emotion. Kenma took a breath, feeling the power of his love for this crazy grey-haired boy in front of him. Love, and pride, and faith that he would do great things. “I believe in you, Lev.”

“You do?”

Under any other circumstances, he would have hesitated to confirm the words. These weren’t ordinary circumstances, though. “I do. You can do this.”

“But - I’ve tried so many times -”

“Maybe you’re trying to do the wrong thing. Bees weren’t meant to go scuba-diving, you know.”

“Eh?”

Kenma shook his head, wondering where that had come from. Pursing his lips, he pressed a finger against the sharp point in front of them. “I think,” he said, “that you’ve been spending years trying to separate yourself from your gift. Trying to contain it, keep it repressed, do something perfect with it. But they are your powers, Lev - and all of that? Repressed and contained? I know you better than that.”

“You do?”

“Yes!”

“So - I’m always going to fail?”

“What? No! Well, yes - if you keep trying to be someone you’re not,” Kenma said, tilting his head to the side and frowning. “You need to do something you would do, Lev. Something - I don’t know - foolish. You have to be yourself.”

“But -”

“Yes?”

“But when I’m myself,” Lev whispered, “people get hurt.”

Swallowing, Kenma thought about that. From one point of view, Lev was right - if he’d never come to them, if he hadn’t fallen in love with Yaku, if they’d never kissed -

But it was all bullshit. 

“All of us hurt people, Lev,” Kenma said. “Or have the potential to. With our powers or not. I almost killed someone today, and I didn’t even realize what I was doing.”

And he didn’t really care if she died or not - but that wasn’t something that would be helpful to the conversation at hand.

“Really?” Lev asked. “But you’re - you’re so strong and good, and -”

Kenma debated on whether or not to tell Lev about his current condition. It would probably end up making him feel even more guilty, though, and the last thing he wanted was for Lev to blame himself for something that was only marginally his fault. “It’s all about self-control,” Kenma said.

“But I’m trying to keep things in control! It keeps slipping away!”

“This,” Kenma said, putting a hand on top of the red ball, “is not control. This is repression. You’re trying to keep it apart from you, something separate, something harmless. Well, your power isn’t harmless! But neither is mine. Neither is Akaashi’s, or Bokuto’s, or Kuro’s - hell, even Oikawa can cause major damage. But you’ll never learn how to control yourself if you keep rejecting who you are - even if a part of that scares you.”

“Kenma,” Lev breathed out, green eyes going wide. 

Kenma felt like it was the first time he’d fully seen him the whole time they’d been talking here. The intensity of that stare made him want to hide behind his hair, but he forged ahead anyway. “You have to take ownership of it,” he whispered, pushing down on the top of the ball. It gave a little, just like he thought it would. He could feel the raw power swirling inside, like a sun - so different than his own gift, and yet, so very very Lev. “You have to let it become a part of you.”

“But how -”

“I think you know.”

Lev locked gazes with him and took a shaky breath. Then he tilted his head to the side and pulled back the ball, looking at the pointed cone in front of them. A brief nod, and then he moved.

It was altogether possible that Kenma should’ve left the clearing before letting Lev do this. That was the first thought in his mind as Lev brought the ball down on the point, letting it pierce the surface, breaking the ball open and letting all the power spill out around them. Kenma had no time to move, no time to do much of anything but pull what moisture he could into a makeshift shield that barely protected him from the raw energy swirling in the air. 

This. This was what had made the strange shape in the clearing, Kenma thought - or at least, it seemed at home there now, roaring in a perfect circle, oranges and reds and yellows and purples all dancing about. The magic danced along his skin, sparking hot like fire, just this side of painful. This was Lev, Lev’s power, everything that all the strange creatures trying to break in wanted to grasp and control. 

Lev stood in the maelstrom like a lost child, hand over his eyes. “I’m frightened!” he yelled out, voice almost overpowered by the sounds filling the clearing. 

“That’s because it's real!” Kenma yelled back. “You have to stop rejecting it! It’s you!”

“But -” Lev said.

“I believe in you!”

Green eyes opened, only partly shielded by Lev’s hand this time. Kenma stared back, wanting to put all the truth he could into his gaze.

He believed in Lev. Yaku did too, Kuro, Alisa - all of them. “We all believe in you,” he said. “We know you can do this - but you have to believe in yourself too. None of us can do this for you.”

It didn’t seem like his words were actually having an effect. Maybe they’d waited too long - left Lev alone for too many years, all of them wrapped up in their own desire to do the right thing and getting it all wrong. Breaking themselves, others - being separated out, thinking they had all the answers instead of trusting other people so that they could do it together as a team - so many years, so many hurts. Kenma had to believe they could come back from all that. He had to believe Lev could be saved.

The storm raging around him actually made him question that belief, though, because it just seemed to be getting stronger. What if it ripped him apart? What if it actually overpowered him, left Kuro truly alone? What if -

No. No doubt.

He had to believe.

Things got brighter, so bright he had to close his eyes. He shielded them with a hand, feeling the heat wash over his skin. Now, it was painfully hot. No. He had to look. Had to see. Had to let Lev know how he felt even if this killed him, wanted his friend to understand that even now he didn’t blame him, he knew he could do this -

When he opened his eyes, he saw that Lev was growing wings.

Lights - feathers - he couldn’t even think - all of this coalescing on his back. Lev’s body was shifting, transforming, becoming a mass of color so bright it was almost blinding. It was beautiful, though. Kenma didn’t want to look away. The colors were swirling, condensing into whirls of light that shaped the body of the lion that Lev had become - a winged lion, with brilliant feathers of fire reaching up toward the top of the clearing. 

Lev opened his eyes and roared.

It was a sound of pure power. 

It was a sound of joy.

Kenma fell to his knees and laughed, exhaustion washing over him. The lion that was Lev padded over, nuzzling at his face. Chuckling, Kenma shook his head, fingers sliding through the golden curls of Lev’s fur. The colors were fading a bit - pulling inside, leaving silver in their wake. 

His eyes, though -

His eyes contained all the colors a fire could make.

Kenma smiled.

“I think,” he said, “you’re going to need a new teacher.”

Lev grinned a lion’s grin, shifting back until he was kneeling in human form on the ground in front of Kenma. “We did it?” Lev asked.

“It’s a start,” Kenma said, thankful that for some reason Lev had retained the clothes he’d been wearing previously. “Not over, probably, but - yeah.”

“You saved me,” said Lev.

“Did not.”

“Did too.”

“Did not - hey, stop that, you’re not allowed. You aren’t Kuro, you can’t keep arguing with me like this,” Kenma groused, pushing Lev’s face away.

“But Kenma-san -”

“No. You saved yourself. If anything, I just reminded you a little bit about how annoying you are - hey!”

Lev laughed, picking Kenma up and twirling him around. Really, this should not be allowed. Why people thought they could just manhandle him however they liked -

“Well now, isn’t this a charming picture,” said a new voice. “So lovely to see you’re feeling better, kinsman. Though I have questions about the company you keep.”

Kenma froze, turning to look in the direction of the voice.

Her.

The redhead was back, hair dripping water down her back. Her skin was young again, and her green eyes glinted with anger. In her hand -

“No,” Lev whispered.

Kenma stared at the small tan kitten struggling in her grasp, caught by the fur at the nape of its neck.

Yaku.

**Author's Note:**

> Come talk/complain/enjoy with me on tumblr @ [kaiyouchan @ tumblr!](http://kaiyouchan.tumblr.com/)


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